My New, Unexpected Life
by Iridescent Bellisle Cullen
Summary: This is the story of the direction that Bella's life would have traveled if her parents and stepfather had died in Saved From Terror By An Angel. See what happens as Bella grows up with her vampire family, and how her relationship with Carlisle develops and change over the years. Rated M for language and later chapters.
1. The Worse Day of My Life

(A/N: Welcome to the alternate version of Saved From Terror By An Angel. This a story of what would happen in Bella's life if Charlie, Renée, and Phil had died. I am picking up from the end of chapter 12 of the original story. The beginning of this chapter is similar to the beginning of chapter 13 of the original, but worded differently. Enjoy!)

**Carlisle's POV**

After Bella had calmed down, Edward had subjected her to a week of punishment. She was not allowed to watch TV again during that time. Also, she would be sent straight to bed after she had finished her homework and eaten dinner. Bella was not too happy about this, but resigned herself to it without arguing.

I made dinner for her after his speech. When she had finished her meal, we bade her good-night as Esme sent her to her room. Edward and Esme went back to their place to have lone time with each other, so I had watch Bella.

I laid down on the couch with a sigh. I felt mentally exhausted. What an evening it had been, with Bella throwing a rock at Marlene and ending up in trouble! Not to mention finding out that I was her soul mate in the midst of all of that drama. Now that I had time to myself, I was able to sort through all of this properly.

I was relieved that Bella would suffer no lasting damage from being spanked, be it physical or emotional. How I despised it when I heard Edward giving her a taste of his displeasure. I knew that Bella deserved to be punished for what she had done, but I did not care. I did not want him to spank her, and there was not anything I wanted to do more than protect her. However, protecting was unnecessary, not to mention wrong. Bella would not have learned her lesson if I did. But I was so terrified that Edward would cause Bella some form of permanent harm. For a moment, I had been afraid that-if he had done this-I would lose control and sense of myself and attack him. Attack my own son!

None of this came to pass, thankfully. If it had, I did not know how I would have forgiven myself.

Then I turned to the event of Bella realizing that she was my true other half. I was quite glad that she would still accept me as her big brother. I was also grateful that she was very willing to bide her time, to wait until she was old enough to officially be my mate. How was it that I was blessed with such an understanding person for a soul mate? Especially one who knew what her boundaries were and accepted them without question or complaint?

It was good that Bella was patient and knew her limits. If she did not, it was very much likely that things would be different. Not to mention hectic. She would have possibly attempted to have a forbidden relationship, and I would have had to refuse her. With her being my mate, that was the last thing that I would ever want to do. Not just about that, but in any given situation. Nevertheless, this did not matter. I did not want to risk being found out, which would jeopardize my life. I did not want my family to lose me, especially Bella. She had already lost so much already, and I did not even _want_ to imagine what would happen if my existence was put to an end.

I was quite sure that this would not be an issue that I would have to deal with, however. Bella was a very smart, rational person. I would be amazed if she did not know that regardless of her infatuation me, she could not act on feelings without there being a problem.

With that reassuring conclusion, I grinned to myself. No matter what happened, I was certain that everything would be fine.

But a phone call that Esme received the next evening would cause me to doubt if anything ever would again for a very long time.

**Bella's POV**

My ass was still sore when I woke up in the morning. I groaned to myself. How the hell was I going to be able to sit down in school today?

Edward would probably say that it would serve as a reminder for what I had done the night before. I knew that he would because I heard that Carlisle said the same thing when he spanked his children.

With another groan, I climbed of bed and headed for the shower. My breakfast was already on the table when I entered the kitchen. Carlisle had made it; he was the only one there.

"Good morning, Bella dear," he greeted with a smile.

I returned it with a shy one, abruptly remembering that he was my soul mate. It made me feel odd, but not in a bad way. Just knowing that he was my true other half made me unsure of how to be around him. How to talk to him, or even spend time with him. In other words, the situation had become awkward where he was concerned. To me, at least. But how could I _not_ feel that way?

"Morning, Carlisle," I stated finally, easing myself onto a chair.

His eyes twinkled in amusement. "Does it still hurt?" he inquired with some sympathy.

"Yeah," I whispered, knowing what he meant. I felt my cheeks tingling in embarrassment.

"Hmm. I suppose that that is a good thing; I would think so if one of my kids were in your predicament. Truthfully, I feel sorry for you, but you _had_ to learn your lesson somehow."

I glared at him disdainfully. "Way to rub it in, bro."

Smirking, he remarked, "There's no need to be upset. I was only giving you my opinion on the matter."

I did not comment on that, not knowing how to respond. I just continued to eat my meal.

After ten minutes, I was done. Carlisle washed my dishes as I made sure that all of my school supplies were in my book bag. Everything was in there, so I grabbed my jacket and walked to the living room.

"I'm about to go, Carlisle. See you later," I announced.

He embraced me tightly. "All right, then. Have a nice day at school, and _behave_ yourself. I do not want to hear any more tales about you throwing rocks at people. If I do, Edward will not be the only one who will turn you over their knee," he joked, wagging his finger.

I punched him. "Oh, shut up."

With a gentle laugh, he kissed my forehead. "Go on, you do not want to be late. I love you."

"Love you too," I returned, hugging him and kissing his cheek.

After we said good-bye, I left the apartment.

As I headed down the stairway, I caught a glimpse of the clear blue sky outside of the window. The weather had been nice lately. To be honest, I believed that it was mocking me. I had been depressed, as usual, because there was still no word on Mom, Phil, and Charlie. I did not understand why they hadn't been found after all this time.

Today, however, the beauty of the day actually made me feel rather optimistic. I was not use to this, not having experienced that particular emotion for I didn't know how long. I did not even know why I felt this way. It was a very good feeling, though, so I let it consume my entire being. By the time I had arrived at Oakland High, I was full to the brim with new-found hope. My smile even seemed brighter and more animated.

My classmates and teachers noticed that I was in high spirits. They commented on it all day, or asked me about it.

"What are you so happy for?" Angela Weber had inquired with a grin.

I could only shrug. "The weather is beautiful today. Plus, it Friday, so I guess that that adds to everything," I responded simply.

"Well, I am glad to see that you are feeling better," my history teacher, Mrs. Davies remarked earnestly. She had heard our conversation. "You seemed to be down in the dumps ever since you were transferred to this school, and I was concerned about you."

I gave a tiny smile. "I've just have a lot of stuff on my mind lately. But I am fine. You don't have to worry about me."

The sunny weather did not last long. Smoky, dark-gray clouds formed in the sky around last period. Seeing them lowered my optimism, but not that much. I was still able to maintain a good mood.

Before I knew it, the last bell was ringing. I collected my things and left the school. It looked as if it were going to rain, so I took the bus home since I didn't have my umbrella. Normally, I would have walked the eight blocks to the apartment, but I was better safe than sorry.

The entire family was there when I arrived there. Even Jasper was, much to my astonishment. He did not visit Carlisle often when I was at home.

The latter turned as I stepped in. "Hi there, Bellissima. How was school today?" he queried.

"It was okay," I replied, kissing him on the cheek. "How are you?"

"Not too bad. Emmett is tormenting our lives out."

I laughed. "I know how you feel."

Edward hugged me next. "Hello, sweet pea."

"Hey, Dad. Hey, Mom," I added when Esme kissed my forehead.

"Hi baby," she returned.

After greeting the others, I escaped to my room to do my homework. I had a large pile to do this weekend, and I wanted to finish as much of it as I possibly could tonight.

Little did I know that in the next few hours, homework would no longer be on my mind.

**Carlisle's POV**

While Bella was doing her school assignments, I basically kept everyone from making a lot of noise. She hated it when she was distracted and I could not blame her at all. I myself found it _extremely_ irritating. They were pretty good at being quiet, save for Emmett, who was loud by nature. However, he could stay calm when it was required of him to be.

The rest of the afternoon went by smoothly. The girls huddled together to read a fashion magazine. My sons talked about their upcoming hunting trip, which would be tonight. I alternated between watching television and making sure that the boys did not talk too loudly. It started to rain about five o'clock, and heavy drops pelted onto the windows.

It was not until seven forty-five when Bella joined us. It was clear that she had not finished her homework, though. She was clutching a sheet of paper in her hand.

"Mom, may I have something to eat please? I'm starving!" she declared.

"Of course you can, baby girl. I'll whip up something so fast that you'll crick your neck if you try to keep up with me," Esme joked.

This would have certainly been true, if Bella had attempted to do just that. Esme would have been nothing more than a blur to her at the speed that she had prepared her food.

Bella perched on the sofa next to me. I kissed her on the cheek as she jotted down something on a worksheet. Her face reddened and she giggled quietly.

Unfortunately, Emmett saw this. "Aww, look at the two soon-to-be lovebirds-" he cooed.

"Shut up," I muttered, rolling my eyes in annoyance.

"-King and Queen Cullen," he went on.

"Emmett! I will not tell you again! That's quite enough from you!" I barked, noticing how embarrassed that he was making Bella feel.

Taken aback by my tone, he raised his hands in surrender. "Sorry, Pops. I was only kidding."

He subsided into a defeated silence. The rest of my children shook their heads with a grin and resumed their activities.

For a while, it was quiet. The only sounds that could be heard were the boiling water, the swoosh of Bella's pen, and the patter of rain on the windows.

Esme was checking the food when the silence was broken by her cell phone. She answered it promptly. "Hello, this is Esme Cullen. To whom am I speaking with?" she inquired in a voice that Bella would have been unable to hear.

She paused for a moment. Then, her tone changed from questioning to one of delighted surprise. It drew my attention enough to make me look at her.

"Really? You have found them? When?...Well, how are they? Are they all right?" she demanded, clutching the phone tightly.

I myself grew tense with excitement. "They" must have been Bella's parents and stepfather. They must have found and taken to a hospital. Bella will be so happy when Esme tells her this! She had been waiting for this particular phone call for almost a month, and from the looks of it, she had nearly given up hope that it would come. But now she will finally know what had happened to her family, which she had been trying to have found for so long.

Watching Esme with bated breath, I waited for the person on the other end to respond.

It did not take long. I heard the person say something, and her jaw dropped in dismay. She covered her mouth with her hand a second later. Then she bowed her head before whispering "thank you" and ending the call.

Edward dashed over to her, having read her thoughts. He took her in his arms and she buried her face in his chest. Then there was a low, muffled sob.

Right then, I knew what had happened. I did not need Edward's telepathic ability to know what the person had told Esme.

Bella's parents and stepfather were dead. There was no other reason to explain why Esme was crying.

As if to confirm this, she looked up at Edward and whispered imploringly, "Can you please tell her? I don't think that I will be able to. I don't think that I can stand and watch her heart break."

With dread building up in the pit of my stomach, I turned to Bella, who was calmly finishing her homework. She had been oblivious to the scene that had taken place behind her. She did not know that in a few minutes time, her peaceful world will shattered.

Suddenly, I felt like crying myself. I did not want to see Bella's heart break any more than Esme did. She had been depressed for almost a month as it was. I did not know how much more grief she would be able to handle. When Edward tells her about her parents and stepfather, there would be no knowing how Bella will react.

I wished that we could prevent her from hearing the news of their death. I wished that Esme had been told that they were alive. But she deserved to know. We could not keep this information from her now that we knew what had happened to them. She has waited for a long time for any news about her family's whereabouts.

"Yes, she has," Edward mumbled in agreement to my ponderings. He looked as dejected as I felt. "Do you want to tell her about them?"

Gulping, I thought it over. To be honest, I really did not want to. However, it was likely the wiser course. Bella listened to me quicker than she did anyone else, save for Edward and Esme. Still, I knew that I would not be able to bear watching her expression change from happiness, to horror, to grief and heart-wrenching despair. I would feel as if I had been responsible for her parents' and stepfather's death. As if I had betrayed her.

Nodding in understanding, Edward shot me a sympathetic gaze. "I'll tell her, then," he remarked, but it was clear that he didn't want to either. He rubbed his face with his hand, preparing himself for what he was about to do.

After a minute, he nodded to himself and sighed deeply. Then he turned to Bella, looking as if he were walking to his execution.

"Sweet pea?" he called to her in a soft voice.

**Bella's POV**

"Sweet pea?" I heard Edward say.

I looked up from the worksheet that I was concentrating on. "Yes, Dad?" I queried.

"Can you come here, please? I need to talk to you about something," he stated.

I inclined my head and walked over to him. As I drew closer, I noticed that his face was drawn. It also seemed paler than usual. I had the feeling that something wasn't right.

By the time that I reached him, my forehead was already creased in bewilderment. "What's up?" I questioned.

He opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Esme had just received a phone call from Mount Sinai Hospital," he remarked.

When he did not continue, I rose an eyebrow. "So...? What did they want?" I prodded him.

Taking a deep breath, he continued on. "They called to tell her that your parents and your stepfather were brought there. They had been found not an hour ago."

"They found them?!" I exclaimed, a wide smile threatening to split my face open. It was about time that they did! Oh, this was the best news that I had ever received in my life! I couldn't wait to be able see them again! "Oh, my God, why didn't you tell me sooner? We should go there now-it's still pretty early." I turned and started for the coat closet.

"No, Bella!" Edward yelled, spinning me around to face him. "You cannot go. Seeing them would not be a good idea."

I frowned in confusion. "Why? Is something wrong? Do they have to undergo a major surgery or something?"

He shook his head. "No. That is not the reason."

"Then why can't I see them?"

Anguish darkened his eyes as he gazed at Esme, who stared at him pleadingly. He sighed heavily before turning to me once more. "Sweet pea... I wish that I could lie to you about what I have to tell you. In fact, I wish that I didn't have to tell you this at all."

"Tell me _what_?" I demanded, feeling really worried all of a sudden.

He swallowed thickly. "Your parents and stepfather are...They are gone, sweet pea."

My mouth fell, and I backed away from him slowly, shaking my head in denial. "No. There must be some mistake. They can't be dead. They can't be. They have to be alive!" I gasped. Oh God, please tell me that this isn't true. Please let this be a joke. They couldn't be dead. It would be too unfair for them to be!

Edward pursed his lips, his expression morose. "I'm so sorry, sweet pea," he whispered, and I knew then that he was telling the truth. That dreaded, horrible truth.

Grief rained down on me at the speed of an underground train's, and I crumpled under its weight.

**Carlisle's POV**

As soon as Edward told Bella that he was sorry, she collapsed. Everyone ghosted to her and reached her before she hit the floor. I moved her into a sitting position, but she slumped forward, burying her face in her hands.

"No," she wept. "Why didn't they try to save them? Why? They could have!"

Edward knelt down in front of her and laid a hand on her shoulder. "It was already to late for them. They were already dead when they had been found. Nothing could be done."

"No, no, no, no, NO, NO!" Bella hollered, punching the floor with her hands. She jerked away from him as if his touch burned her.

My children and I attempted to comfort her except Esme. She was crying too hard to do much of anything. Seeing her daughter so heartbroken was tearing her apart. I, too, was finding it very difficult not break down myself. I hated that my little sister had to go through all of this pain. She had hoped and prayed that her loved ones would be alive when they were found, and now her dreams were destroyed.

Bella shrugged away from us and fled to her room. I trailed after her. Once there, she threw herself onto the bed and wept with abandon. I lifted her up before taking my poor baby in my arms. I rocked back and forth.

She must have known that it was me because she did not move away. She just clung to me as she cried her heart out.

"It's not fair. It's not fair," she sobbed bitterly.

A tear slipped out of my eye and rolled down my cheek. "No, sweetheart. It isn't fair," I murmured, hugging her even more tightly. "It isn't at all."

Outside, the rain poured down with more intensity. It was as if it was sharing Bella's grief, just as I and my family were.

** (A/N: PLEASE REVIEW! How was my first chapter for the story? Leave any questions or comments you have. Thank you!)**


	2. I Don't Want to Say Good-bye!

**Bella's POV**

My heart felt as if it had been ripped in two. No, scratch that. I was not accurate enough. It felt as if _three huge chunks_ have been torn from it.

They were dead. Mom, Charlie, and Phil. They were the last of my (biological) family, and now they too were gone. It was so unfair, so unjust. Why was this allowed to happen to them? Why did I have to lose them? I had hoped and prayed that they would be alive. That I would be able to see them again. But my hopes had come to nothing.

The thought of this made me furious as well as saddened. In fact, I was so upset that I almost was nearly angry at God. I almost hated Him too. Of course, I could never feel either rage or hatred towards Him. Still, how could He do this to me? How could He take away my family away from me like this? How and why did He do this? I could not understand it.

Carlisle held me as I sobbed stormily and pounded my fists on his chest. He did not seem to mind this at all. He just caressed my hair and let me work out my rage. He cradled me, rocking me back and forth. I was thankful that he was here. He held me together, keeping me from crumbling into pieces.

I did not know how long it took for me to settle down. Time had lost its importance when Edward had told me that the ones who I had loved so dearly were now gone forever. However, I eventually did, slowly and gradually.

I wiped my eyes and looked up at Carlisle. There were tears on his face as well. I knew that it was killing him to see me like this, and I nearly started to cry again. I did not want him to be sad for me. The idea of it caused a fresh wave a pain to tear through my heart.

An involuntary a-huh-huh-huh escaped me. "Carlisle, please don't cry. I don't want you to be sad either. This is my sorrow, not yours," I stated tearfully, sweeping the tears off of his cheeks with my thumb.

"I know, but I can't help it. It tears me apart to see you heartbroken like this. I cannot help but wish that your parents and stepfather were alive, just so that you could be happy and not have to go through all of this grief and sorrow," he murmured.

I sniffed. "What's going to happen to me now?" I inquired.

Carlisle stroked my face with the back of his hand. "Why, you will stay here with us, of course. We will all take care of you, and you know that I especially will. You are a permanent part of our family now. You always have been. Even if your parents and stepfather had been found alive, you still would be."

Nodding, I hugged him tightly. "Thank you for being here for me, Carlisle. I don't know what I state I would be in right now if it weren't for you."

He kissed me on the top of the head as he returned the embrace. "It is no trouble at all, my dear. You know that I am always going to be here for you, no matter what."

With a sob, I cuddled into him. "I guess that I'm an orphan now. I had a feeling that I was all along."

"No, you are not," Carlisle remarked firmly, pulling away to look at me. "You will _never_ be an orphan as long as you have us to love you and take care of you. And of course, you always will. Besides, I know that you see Edward and Esme as your parents. But you know that I am the main one that ensures that you have whatever you need. I am not trying to take their places, of course. But even if they had not adopted you, I would still not have labeled you as an orphan. You would be taken care of even then. I would have made sure of that."

I placed a smooch on Carlisle's cheek. "Thank you," I repeated.

"You don't have to thank me, Bella."

Suddenly, I heard Esme's voice outside of the room. "Where is she? Where is my baby? I need to see her," she announced.

The door opened. I turned to see her walking over to the bed. She whisked me out of Carlisle's arms, making him growl, but she ignored him and wrapped her arms around me. If I hadn't been so down in the dumps, I would have teased Carlisle about his anger and jealousy.

"Baby, I am so sorry for what happened. I wanted to tell you about your parents and stepfather myself, but I just couldn't. I would not have been able to bear it if I was one of the main causes that brought this grief to you," she whispered in a thick voice.

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you," I assured her as I hugged her back.

Edward entered the room next. For reasons I could not fathom, I was severely angry at him. I _hated_ him too, so much that it caused me pain. I despised him for telling me that Mom, Charlie, and Phil were dead. I wished that he had given me much happier news. It was not his fault that he didn't, though. I would have been given the same news even if someone else had told me what had happened to them. Nevertheless, this fact did not change how I felt for Edward.

He stepped over to where Esme and I were and took my hand in his. "Sweet pea, I have no words to express how sorry I am for your loss. I wish the phone call have gone differently for your sake," he cooed.

I pulled my hand away none-too-gently and glowered at my shoes. I did not want him to touch me. "It's fine. It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing can change how it went or what happened to them. It's done," I muttered sullenly.

"Bella, honey, don't be like that. Don't take that attitude about it," Esme implored.

"Well, what attitude _do_ you want me to take about it?" I retorted, causing her to gasp in horror.

Edward scowled at me. "Isabella, watch your mouth! Don't you dare talk to her like that!"

I huffed and yanked myself out of Esme's grip. She reached out to me with pleading eyes, but I backed away.

Carlisle stood and pulled me behind him. "Let it be, Edward, Esme. She is just very upset right now, coming to terms with all of this. I am certain that she does not intend to behave towards either of you in this manner." He turned to me. "Bella, please apologize to them."

I stepped out of his shadow. "I'm sorry, Mom, Dad. I didn't mean to be rude."

Esme embraced me and this time, I let her. "It is all right, baby girl. I know that you did not mean to be."

Next, Edward hugged me. "All is forgiven, sweet pea. I know how devastated that you must feel. I was when my parents died too."

I nodded but didn't say anything. Then I moved away from him and Carlisle swept me up in his arms.

"Has anything come up since the phone call?" he asked Esme.

She shook her head. "No, but the doctor-his name is Dr. Malvern-said that he would call me or Edward later about the arrangements that need to be made," she replied.

Carlisle glanced at his watch. "They should be calling within the hour then. It has been more than an hour since he had called you the first time."

My head shot back and forth as they spoke. It did not take a wiz to understand what they were talking about. "Arrangements for the...funerals, you mean?" I breathed.

Esme inclined her head sadly. "Yes," she responded.

Slumping in despair, I buried my face in Carlisle's chest. I did not want to think about funerals. To me, they were worse than death because they were a part of the last stages of taking somebody away from you forever. I began to shake with quiet, new-found sobs.

Carlisle tightened his hold on me. He did not say a word, but he did not need to.

There was really nothing that anybody could say.

(Next day-11:35am)

The dim gray light pouring in through the window woke me up the next morning. I did not feel like getting out of bed, but I could not understand why until a split second later. I remembered the phone call that Esme had received. The phone call that revealed the deaths of Mom, Charlie, and Phil.

With a groan, I dove face downwards into my pillow. Tears filled my eyes, but did not leave them. My eyes were smashed against the soft fabric.

Someone gently knocked on the door at that moment, causing me to jump a little. But I did not get up to answer it or ask who it was. I did not have the strength or the motivation to.

"Bella? Are you awake, sweet girl?" I heard Carlisle call.

He knew that I was; he told me once that vampires could tell by someone's heartbeat if they were awake or not. But at least he asked if I was anyway, and I was thankful that he did. It showed that he had manners and would kindly act as if he were human.

"Yes, but I don't really feel like getting out of bed today," I grunted.

Carlisle opened the door. "I understand how you feel, my dear, but you have to eat breakfast," he remarked.

"I'm not hungry. You can make my breakfast later."

"I have already. Please come to the kitchen and eat. You don't want your food to get cold."

Oh man! I couldn't believe that he had successfully tried to guilt me into having breakfast. "Can't I just eat it in my room?" I begged.

"You can, but Edward and Esme and I need to talk to you. I would prefer it if you could sit with us."

I groaned in annoyance. "Fine."

I followed him out of the room and into the kitchen. Edward and Esme were sitting at the table, speaking to each other in low voices. However, they turned to us as we entered the room.

"Morning, Bella," they greeted.

"Morning," I returned stiffly, plopping into a chair. My hatred for Edward had not abated overnight.

Carlisle placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of me.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"You are welcome," he responded.

Edward gestured to my bowl. "Why don't you eat first? We can talk afterwards."

I nodded before tucking into my oatmeal reluctantly. I could not taste it; it seemed as if grief had taken away that particular ability. A lump was in my throat too, so it was difficult to swallow.

When I had finally managed to eat every spoonful, Carlisle washed my bowl and spoon. Then he sat next to me.

Edward leaned forward. "I know that you don't like it when people beat around the bush, so I will begin our conversation right away."

He gave me a pointed look. I bobbed my head, indicating for him to continue.

"Dr. Malvern, the doctor who called Esme at night, contacted her again early this morning. He told her about the arrangements that had to be made. He had received a copy of your parents' and stepfather's living wills. He did not say what was documented, only that your father and stepfather had wished to be cremated. When did not give him our permission to do this yet, however. We wanted to know what you thought about it."

I really _didn't_ know what to think, but I was horrified. I thought that Phil would have wanted to have a funeral like Mom did. That he would have wanted to be buried next to her. I wondered if Mom had known about this?

Well, if she had, she did not tell me. And I would never find out if she had known.

But I wished that they all could have chosen to have a funeral. I would have been able to say one last good-bye to them, even if I had not wanted to.

"Bella?" Edward declared when I had not said anything.

I sighed tiredly. "Well, if that's what they had wanted, then there is nothing that I can do about it. You can give the doctor the permission to cremate them."

He nodded. "All right. Dr. Malvern also told me that you could see the remains-"

"_Don't **call** them the remains_!" I interrupted in passionate fury.

Edward gazed at me half sternly, have sympathetically. "That was what he said. Please do not interrupt me, it is not polite. As I was saying, he told me that you may see your parents and stepfather for one last time if you want to. Their bodies are still intact. Afterwards, they have to go on with the arrangements."

I stood up. "Okay. I'll go. Just let me take a shower first."

"All right, then. Take your time, there is no need to rush."

I washed up as fast as I could and met Edward and Esme at the door. Carlisle was also standing with them, wearing a jacket.

"You're coming too?" I inquired.

He kissed my temple. "Yes, my dear. I want to be there for you, in case the situation becomes too hard for you to handle," he responded.

I embraced him fiercely. "Thank you, Carlisle. You're the best big brother in the world."

Patting my back, he gave me another kiss.

A minute later, we were on our way to Mount Sinai Hospital. The ride did not take long and soon we were parking in the hospital's parking lot.

When we were at the front desk, Esme asked a nurse for Dr. Malvern and explained her reasons. The nurse told her that she would page him and to sit in the waiting room.

Fifteen minutes later, a man with gray hair and spectacles appeared. "Esme Cullen?" he proclaimed.

Esme stood and so did the rest of us. "Right here, sir," she announced.

The man smiled and nodded. "Good afternoon. I am Dr. Malvern."

She inclined her head. "So I have presumed."

Dr. Malvern waved his hand. "Would you follow me, please?"

He led us to the elevator. We went up a floor and down a long hall. Dr. Malvern opened a door at the far end of it.

"In here, please," he stated.

I found myself in the morgue. Covered bodies were lying on stretchers. I shivered and zipped up my jacket. It was freezing in here!

Dr. Malvern guided us over to three beds in the middle of the room. One said Charlie Swan, another said Renée Dwyer, and the last one was labeled Phil Dwyer.

"I have to warn you," Dr. Malvern began. "Their bodies are bruised and there are several cuts and wounds. But it is not too graphic. Would you still like to see them?"

Esme peered at me and I nodded. "Sure," she replied.

Bobbing his head, Dr. Malvern uncovered Mom, Charlie, and Phil. I grimaced; he was right about them being bruised and cut up. Not to mention crushed.

Tears pricked my eyes as I stepped over to Charlie. "Good...good-bye, Daddy. I hope that I'll never forget the times that we spent together, the good and the bad. I hope that I will always be able to think of them. If I could do anything to have them back, I would. I miss you, and I really will after today. I love you very much, and always will," I choked out in a whisper, saying everything while I was able to. It was so hard to say good-bye.

I kissed him on a part of the cheek that was not bruised or cut and hugged him as well as possible. Then I turned to Mom. "I don't know if I'll be able to say good-bye at the funeral, so I'll say my first one now. Good-bye, Mommy. I am really going to miss the times that we had together too. I wish that I could have them back as well. I miss you, and I love you too," I mumbled.

I gave her a kiss and a hug before walking over to Phil. "Phil, you will never have no idea how glad I was when you had married Mom. She was so happy, happier than I had seen her since before she met you. Please look after her in heaven. Like Mom and Charlie, I miss you and always will (I hope.) We all had a lot of fun, and I will miss those times. I will even the times that were bad. Good-bye. I love you," I wept, overcome with sobs by this time. I kissed and hugged him, then ran into Carlisle's waiting arms.

He wrapped them around me, rocking me back and forth as I cried.

"I don't want to be here anymore. I want to go home," I wailed into his chest.

"Certainly, sweetheart. We are going to leave right now," he cooed.

"Thank you for doing this for us, Dr. Malvern," Esme said.

"You are welcome, Mrs. Cullen," he returned.

I heard ruffling; he was covering Mom, Charlie, and Phil back up. Then he exchanged a few words with Edward and Esme.

When they had finished talking, Carlisle picked me up bridle-style. I felt a breeze as he carried me out of the hospital and into his Mercedes.

For the rest of the day, we made preparations for Mom's funeral. The service would be held in a church about five blocks away on Monday morning. It was called St. Paul's Baptist Church. The viewing would be at 9:00am and the service would be at ten. The cemetery where she would be laid to rest was four blocks further. Carlisle and Edward also went out to buy a casket and a headstone. I did not partake in the preparations except to call Mom's friends to let them know when the funeral would be and what time it would start. Luckily, I had Mom's phone book.

I also called my best friend Gabrielle, and we spent more than an hour talking. She let me know how sorry that she was and how sad she felt for me. And she was very sad; she loved Mom, Charlie, and Phil just as much as I did.

"I would like to come see you right now, but I know that you want to be alone. I'll see you at the funeral?" she queried.

"Yeah. Thank you so much for understanding," I said in a voice that was hoarse from crying.

"No problem, Bella. See you on Monday. Call me."

"I will. Bye, Gabrielle."

"Bye. I am here for you. Remember that."

"Okay. Bye." I hung up.

Charlie and Phil were cremated that very afternoon. However, I did not know about this until the next day, which was Sunday. I had Edward and Esme bring their ashes to me. I felt that if I had them, they would be close by in some way. Carlisle helped me empty them into two different vases.

In the meantime, on both Saturday and Sunday, I cried on and off. I tried not to do it too much, though. It worried everybody, especially Carlisle. (Of course, this could go without being said.) However, I could not help it. It was if a dam had broken loose behind my eyes. The tears just had to come out. I was unable to sleep much. I did not have an appetite either, and could barely eat. If no one had cooked anything for me, I did not think that I would have eaten at all.

XXX

(Monday morning)

By eight o'clock, Carlisle and I were prepared to leave for St. Paul's. Edward and Esme had gone back to their house the night before, but they would meet us there. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie were also joining us.

"Are you ready?" Carlisle inquired as I threw my jacket on over my black dress.

"No," I sighed. "Not emotionally, but I have to go. I could never look at myself in the mirror again if I don't."

He slid a comforting arm across my back. "Let us go, then, if you're sure."

We left the apartment building and walked over to his car. After we got in, Carlisle drove in the direction of the church.

Edward, Esme, and the others were already there when we parked across the street from it. Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie hugged me when we had reached them.

"Hi Bella," Rosalie greeted in a morose voice.

"I'm sorry for your loss, sis," Emmett added.

"All of us are," Alice stated.

Jasper embraced me and squeezed my shoulder. He did not utter a word, but everything he could have said went into that gesture.

After Edward and Esme said hello, we went inside. The minister was straightening out some books in the lobby.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen!" he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up with recognition. "How are you today?"

Edward shook his hand. "As well as could be expected, Pastor Colburn," he remarked.

Pastor Colburn shifted his attention to me after shaking Esme's hand. "And you must be Bella. You look a lot like your mother." He held out his hand.

I took it. "Hello," was all that I could say.

He greeted the others before addressing Edward once more. "Did you bring the obituaries?"

"Yes," Edward replied, taking them out of a valise. "Where would you like me to put them?"

"Oh, I was going to have a couple of ushers to hand them out. That is, if it is all right with you?"

"Certainly. It is not a problem."

He gave the obituaries to the pastor, who then led us into the sanctuary across the lobby. At the front of it was a white casket that was trimmed with gold and topped with a multicolored bouquet.

My jaw dropped. I could not believe that Carlisle and Edward had paid for that! It looked so expensive!

We sat in the front pew until 8:55. Then we went back to the lobby to greet those who were coming.

Gabrielle, her parents, and her little brother and sister were the first ones to arrive.

"Hey, Bella," Gabrielle murmured. We hugged each other. "How are you holding up?"

I shrugged. "I don't know," I replied truthfully.

She nodded in understanding, knowing exactly what I meant. Her grandfather had died three years ago. She still missed him, although she did not say it often.

"Oh, and by the way..." She leaned over and whispered into my ear, "I see what you mean about your brother Carlisle..." (I had introduced her to my family.) "...and you are right. He _is_ too handsome for his own good."

I almost laughed. At the same time, I was jealous about her checking him out.

Her parents and siblings gave their condolences before entering the sanctuary.

The next people who showed up were Mom's friends. Some were friends from her job, and the others were from my old neighborhood. A few of them (that I had called) had even traveled here all the way from California! They did not say much to me except that they were sorry, or they would pat my shoulder. Only one person who was not her friend-Dr. Jamison-showed up, much to my very great displeasure. At least she did not try to flirt with Carlisle. Otherwise, there would have been another funeral, and I wouldn't have cared about the spanking that I would have received afterwards.

To my surprise, Angela Weber came as well. So did Jessica Stanley, Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie. Lauren Mallory was also with them, but she did not look as if she had wanted to come. Her nose was wrinkled in distaste. Even Mrs. Davies showed up!

"How did you find out about the funeral?" I asked them.

"The newspaper," they had responded. "We were reading the obituaries and we found your mother's. We figured that we would come and support you."

I hugged each one in turn, except for Lauren. As it was, I nodded to her. She nodded back stiffly. "Thanks, everybody. Really. You have no idea what this means to me."

Once everybody had come, my family and I joined everyone else in the sanctuary for the viewing. It was already filled with sobs and people weeping. Some of them were so overcome that they had the leave the room, or be taken out, for a moment.

The hour passed by very slowly, and I was thankful when the funeral started. Pastor Colburn climbed up to the pulpit and began the service. First, everyone stood and sang a couple of hymns. Or tried to sing-a few people were crying too hard.

Then the minister said a prayer before talking about Mom. He explained what a good mother, wife, and friend she was. He told us about how hard she worked and her contributions to society. Finally, he ended with her death and allowed people to say a few things about her.

Not too many did, and those who had had melted into tears after a few sentences. Several of them had even burst out crying in mid-song. It made me feel glad that I was able to remain calm for this long.

Esme also went up to say something. She stood before the casket and cleared her throat. "I am afraid that I did not know Renée personally, although Bella had told me and our family so much about her. However, if I could say one thing to her, it would be this." She turned to the casket. "You have no idea how much me, my husband, and our family love Bella. She has a very special place in all of our hearts. We will all look after her, and protect her for the rest of our lives. I promise you that. Good-bye, Renée. I hope that you rest and peace and travel safely to heaven."

Everyone clapped as she went to sit down. Tears welled up in my eyes while I applauded. Her statement was so touching.

Pastor Colburn announced that there was enough time for one more person to speak. Carlisle gazed at me questioningly, silently asking if I wanted to say any final words to Mom. I nodded; I was going to anyway.

I made my way to the casket. I stood in front of it and prepared to say my speech. As soon as I opened my mouth, though, I burst into tears. I covered my face with my hands. The audience groaned in sympathy.

"Mom...I...I love you," I wept before running down the aisle and out of the church. I sat down on the steps and buried my head in my arms.

Seconds later, I felt a cold hand on my back. I did not know which one of my family members was touching me until I smelled Esme's scent. I leaned into her.

"I can't do it," I sobbed. "I can't say good-bye to her. I don't want to say good-bye."

Running her fingers through my curls, she whispered, "I know, baby girl. I know." I felt her give me a kiss on the temple.

**Carlisle's POV**

Edward and Esme followed Bella as she flew out of the sanctuary. The audience groaned once more as I turned to my children.

"I will be right back. I am going with them to check on Bella," I whispered.

They nodded and I trailed after Edward and Esme. I found them sitting next to Bella on the church's steps outside.

"I can't do it. I can't say good-bye to her. I don't want to say good-bye," Bella was saying through tears. My dead heart clenched in pain to see her like this.

Esme stroked her hair. "I know, baby girl. I know," she murmured, giving her a kiss.

As I approached, she and Edward turned to me. I gestured for them to move aside so that I could talk to Bella. They did so without hesitation.

I perched on the spot beside Bella and took her in my arms. "Do you think that you will be able to go back inside yet?" I asked in a quiet voice. "If not, we will give you a few minutes to pull yourself together."

"No. I don't think that I will _ever_ be able to go back in there. I can't," she wailed.

"But you will have to eventually. You will miss the rest of the service. And you said that you couldn't look at yourself in the mirror if you did not attend your mother's funeral. You wouldn't want to disappoint her, do you?" I inquired in a kind voice which was devoid of mockery or rudeness.

She did not respond for a moment. Then, in a grudging voice, she mumbled, "No. But just me give a couple of minutes. Please?"

I hugged her tightly. "Sure, sweetheart."

Bella cried until her sobs tapered down to a minimum, then permitted herself to be led back into the sanctuary.

When the audience saw her, they clapped. I supposed that they must have understood (at least a little) how hard it must have been for her to come back. We went to guide her back to our pew, but she shook her head.

"I want to say what I had to say," she implied.

Bella made her way back over to the front of her mother's casket. Edward, Esme, and I sat down.

She wiped her eyes before starting her speech. "Mom...I just want to thank you for the time that we had together, although it was brief. Too brief, in my opinion. I wish that you did not have to be forced to leave me so soon, but I can't rewrite the past. If I could, then I would. But I will never forget all of the fun we had. And I especially won't forget how many times I had to keep you from getting into some form of trouble because of your crazy ideas. Or how many times I had to stop you from beginning a hobby that you wouldn't have stuck to."

The audience chuckled, a few of them knowingly.

"I am going to miss those times, the good and the bad. But I will especially miss you very much, just like I do now. I promise that keep every one of our traditions alive, and I hope that I will make you proud someday. I don't want to say good-bye-it seems too final. So I will just say, see you around sometime. I love you, Mom," Bella concluded.

Everyone applauded. I squeezed her hand as she sat next to me.

"That was lovely. Your mother would have liked that," I remarked.

Bella smiled weakly.

Pastor Colburn then allowed everybody to see Renée one last time. Bella gave her a final kiss and a hug. "I love you," she whispered tenderly.

Many others came up to give their last respects as well. After that, the minister shut the casket and ended the service with a hymn and another prayer.

Six pallbearers went up to the casket and rolled it down the aisle. Bella and my children and I trailed after them. We got into our respective vehicles and followed the hearse to the Heaven's Gates cemetery for the burial. Thankfully, there was not much traffic, so we arrived there in no time.

It took several minutes longer for everyone to be assembled. When we were, Pastor Colburn took charge of the affair once again. He read the famous verse from the Bible, John 3:16. He also recited Lord's Prayer. Most of us said it along with him, Bella and my family and I included. After that was the releasing of the doves. They were pearly-white, as I knew Renée's spirit was. Then we placed the flowers that we were made to hold on top of the casket.

Finally, it was time for her to be laid to rest. Bella took this part of the burial especially hard. As the casket was being lowered into the grave, her knees gave way as she wracked with sobs. Esme and I caught her just in time.

"Shhhhh, baby, shhhhh," I murmured, holding her close. I knew that seeing her mother go was breaking her heart all over again.

With a dull thud, the casket settled at the bottom of the grave. The crowd began to disperse slowly. Several of Bella's and Renée's friends came to speak to us. They commented on how beautiful the funeral was. They also told Bella that they hoped that she would feel better after a while. In turn, I thanked them for coming. Then I paid the minister for his services, thanked him, and left the cemetery with Bella and the others.

I drove back to my apartment with Bella. Edward and Esme came with us. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett went to their house but promised to visit later.

We arrived home minutes later. Bella headed for her room after I had just barely shut the door.

"Bella?" I called to her gently. "Are you hungry? Do you need anything?"

She paused halfway to her destination and turned. "No, I'm fine," she replied in an empty voice before moving on.

I could only stand there. "She will never quite get over this. The grief for her parents and stepfather will remain inside of her for a long time," I stated. Tears filled my eyes at the thought of it. They spilled over and I swept them away.

Edward nodded, and so did Esme. Tears slid down her cheeks. "Yes, it will. But she will heal...in time."

I did not respond. I knew that she was right. And there was no knowing how long it will take for Bella to recover.

**Bella's POV**

Once I had entered my room, I slumped onto the bed. I gazed at the pictures on the side-table drawer and picked one up of Mom, Charlie, and Phil standing next to each other. It was taken several months ago.

I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe that all of them were finally gone. That I would never see them in this life again.

I buried my face in my pillow and started to cry. I wanted them back. Why were they taken from me? I felt lost without them. I needed their guidance...their strength...their love. I needed them. Why did they have to go?

I heard the door open and close. The bed drooped as someone sat beside me. I rolled over to see Carlisle, his expression somber as he stared at me. I hid my face in his shirt and tried to suppress my tears.

He embraced me tightly. "Don't hold it in, sweetheart. Let it out," he whispered.

As soon as he said that, I broke down completely. My chest heaved with sobs that seemed never-ending.

"That's right," Carlisle murmured, rocking me while rubbing my back comfortingly. "Just let it out, let it out."

"I miss them so much, Carlisle," I wept.

He kissed the top of my head. "I know, my dear. I know."

(A/N: That was very sad :'(. . .**PLEASE REVIEW!** _The more reviews, the better_. Let me know what you think.)


	3. The Great Depression

**Carlisle's POV**

I held Bella in my arms for the remainder of the afternoon until early evening. The poor girl wept for the entire time until she had finally cried herself to sleep.

When her sobs had turned into deep, even breathing, I kissed her on the forehead before laying her down. However, just as I had pulled the covers over her, she grabbed my arm.

"Carlisle, please don't go. Please don't leave me," she implored in a fearful voice, opening her eyes.

"All right," I said, unable to refuse her. How could I when she sounded so scared? "I just thought that you were cold, and I did not want to disturb you while you were sleeping."

"I understand...but don't leave. I...I..." Bella faltered.

I stroked her hair. "What is it, sweetheart?" I queried. I could tell that she had something to say.

She let out a sob. "I'm afraid..." she mumbled.

"Of what, my dear?" I persisted when she did not continue.

"I'm...I'm afraid that if you leave, then...then everybody will be gone when I wake up in the morning. And if that did happen, I don't know what I would do. Or maybe I would go insane." Tears ran down her cheeks.

Reaching out, I embraced her tightly. "Bella, none of us will ever, ever leave you. And you know that I never will. You know that, don't you?"

Bella nodded. "Yes, but...but...I'm just afraid that someone else will leave me like Charlie and Mom and Phil did because they are dead. I know that that sounds childish, but..."

"I understand how you feel, my dear. It does not sound childish at all. Many people feel the same way as you do after they lose a love one."

"Okay, but please, just...just stay here. Just hold me like you always do. Please?"

I sat on the bed, took off my shoes, and threw the blanket over us. Then I pulled her onto me. "Anything for you," I murmured, wrapping my arms around her.

Laying her head on my chest, Bella whispered, "Thank you."

"You are welcome, sweet girl."

I caressed her hair while singing an Italian lullaby. She clung to me and rapidly fell asleep.

All through the night, I kept her in my arms. I did not move except to stroke her hair and call my supervisor to tell him that I was unable to make it. I was so preoccupied that I did not notice that time was passing until dawn.

At six thirty, I heard Edward and Esme walk into the apartment. A second later, they opened Bella's door.

"Hi Dad," Edward announced in a quiet voice.

"Hey, Carlisle," Esme hissed.

"Hello, children," I returned.

Esme inclined her head to Bella. "Could you wake her up for us, please? She has to get up and prepare for school."

I nodded and shook Bella gently. "Sweetheart? It's time to wake up."

She squirmed and looked up at me. "Carlisle?" she grunted.

Kissing her cheek, I said, "Good morning, baby. You have school today. You should hurry and get dressed. It's after 6:30, and you don't want to be late."

Moaning wearily, she buried her face in my chest. "Can I just stay home today today, please? I don't think that I can mentally endure being in school today. I promise that I'll go tomorrow...I really will and I won't complain once. You know that I keep my promises. Please?"

I was torn between letting her remain here and insisting that she attended school. I was all for letting her stay, even though I knew that it was wrong. School was very important and she needed to go. I peered at Edward and Esme, wanting to know what they thought.

Esme turned to Edward, who narrowed his eyes pensively. After a long moment, he bobbed his head. "Okay. I will allow you to stay home. I will call your school and inform them that you will be absent today. But you _are_ going to school tomorrow and I hope that you do not complain. It will not do you any good. Do you understand, sweet pea?" he questioned.

"Yes," Bella muttered, not looking at him.

Edward and Esme came over to kiss her forehead. "If you want to go back to sleep, you may. Make sure that you eat breakfast, all right, baby?" Esme queried.

"All right."

Edward turned to me. "Look after our daughter."

I inclined my head. "I will, don't worry."

They nodded to us and left the room. Seconds later, I heard them exiting the apartment.

Bella did not go back to sleep. Instead, she laid her head on my shoulder and kept quiet for a while.

"Carlisle," she mumbled after some time.

"Mmm?" I responded.

She gazed at me. "Do you miss your parents?" she inquired.

With a sigh, I inclined my head. "Yes. I miss them very much. I miss my mother because I never knew her. I wish that I had gotten the chance to. And I definitely miss my father. He and I were the best of friends," I remarked.

Looking down again, she wrapped an arm around me. "That's good. What did you two do when you spent time with each other?"

I grinned wistfully. "My father and I did many things. He was strict about obeying God and learning scripture, but that did not mean that he did not believe in the idea of fun. Well, as long as it did not include anything immorally wrong or dangerous. We used to row down the Thames River in a boat that we had, go for walks in the forest. Once a year, we would go to France and take a tour of the whole country. After I had grown up, we played tricks on every one we knew."

"Ooh, you're bad! What kind of tricks?"

"Ha ha. We would put on each other clothes and pretend to be the other. Both of us looked alike, except that he had gray eyes while I had blue. It fooled everyone that we knew. I remember several occasions when somebody would talk to me, thinking that I was Father, and ask me to tell "Carlisle" that they said hello. Then I would say, 'But you have just said hello to me not a moment ago.' It would take a second for them to get it, and then the laughing would start. But I always assured them that I would say hello to my father for them and carry along any messages that they had for him. That is, if they had any. It used to make them upset-many thought that playacting in any form was a sin. After a while, though, they began to think that it was funny. They could see that we meant no harm."

Bella gave an half-empty chuckle. "It sounds like you and your father did have a lot of fun."

"Yes, we did. I miss those times, some days more than others. I would go back to them if I were able to, but then I would miss you and my children. In fact, I would miss all of you more...especially you."

"Aww. That was sweet of you to say."

"Thank you, my dear."

She kissed me on the cheek, then moved away. "Do you know what your mother was like?"

My face fell. "Not a great deal. Father told me that she was very beautiful, and she was. I use to look at her portrait whenever Father was not around. He also said that she was a very kind and charitable person. She always saved any spare change that she had for the poor and needy. They were young when they had married. My mother was only 19 and Father was 20. Mother was his age when she died giving birth to me." I exhaled deeply. "I wish that I had had the chance to say good-bye to them. I am almost jealous that you were able to."

Bella shook her head. "Not while they were alive. The last thing that I said to them was that I loved them. And the last thing that they said to me was that they loved me too."

"I understand what you mean. But you even said that saying good-bye seemed too final," I pointed out.

Her head drooped. "That's true, it does. To say 'see you around' is better. It's kind of like saying good-bye, but not exactly. But I...I wish that...that I never had to say that to them. I wish that they had been alive when they were found. Why did they have to die? Why did they have to leave me?" she demanded of thin air bitterly, starting to cry.

Tightening my hold on her, I murmured, "I don't know, Bella. For once, I wish that I had the answer to your question. But perhaps there is a reason."

She glared at me in rage. "What reason could there be?! If there is one, I don't see how it could be good! What good reason could there be for terrorists to kill my family, to take them away from me when they were all I have left before I met you and our family?! I want to know!" she yelled in my face.

I could only stare at her in mute sadness. "I don't know," I finally repeated. "But I do not blame you for feeling upset. When you mention the terrorists, I believe that you have every right to be. I wish that I could give you a reason, though. Believe me, I do. Maybe...maybe you were meant to be here because you are my soul mate. God knew that we would need each other after some point in our lives. And he knew that you had a special place in our family. I am not saying that you were meant to lose your Mother or Charlie or Phil. I do not think that you were at all. However, you are an important part of this family, as well as to your biological one."

"I know, and I believe that you are very likely right about that, but...Look, I'm not saying that I don't love you or Edward and Esme or the others with all my heart and soul, or that it's not good enough. It _is_ good, but..."

"You wish that your parents and stepfather can be here with you too. You wish that they were alive to share every experience, whether they are good or otherwise, that you have with you." I concluded knowingly, laying my hand on her cheek.

Bella nodded with tears in her eyes. "Yes."

I hugged her once more. "I understand how you feel, sweet girl. I really do. Trust me."

We clung to each other for a long time, then broke apart. "It's almost eight o'clock. I will make your favorite breakfast for you. You may eat in here," I added when she opened her mouth to protest.

"Okay. Thank you."

"No problem."

The rest of the morning passed by very quietly. Bella kept to her room unless she had to go to the bathroom. I stayed with her, watching movies on her TV. Edward and Esme had put it back in her room and ended her punishment the night after her parents and stepfather were pronounced dead.

At three twenty-five in the afternoon, Angela Weber-Bella's classmate-stopped by to give her the work that she had to make up.

"We were sorry that you couldn't make it today. We missed you, especially Mrs. Davies. I hope that you feel better soon," Angela stated.

Bella just nodded. "Yeah, well...thanks for bringing me the work. I appreciate it. I'll be back at school tomorrow. I'll see you then."

"All right. Be safe. Good-bye."

"Bye."

When she left, Bella headed straight for her room to complete her assignments. After she had, I prepared her dinner, then sent her to bed a few hours later.

"Good night, baby," I whispered as I tucked her in with a kiss.

She embraced me. "'Night, Carlisle. I love you."

"I love you too. I will just be sitting in your chair by the window, so if you need me, I'll be there in a millisecond."

"I know you will."

"Would you like me to sing to you again?"

"Sure, if you want to."

"I would like nothing better."

Taking her hand in mine and kissing it, I proceeded to do just that. Bella listened to me closely before shutting her eyes. When she had fallen asleep minutes later, I kissed her one more time before sitting on the armchair.

I rubbed my face tiredly. It had been such a long day, with Bella feeling so depressed that she did not have the motivation to do anything. I hoped that tomorrow would be a little better, but I knew that this was only the beginning of the depression and the grieving process.

**Bella's POV**

The days that followed passed by like uncertain weather in which time was barely existent. The days all seemed to join into a long, cloudy one. When I was in school, traveling to and from it, and doing my homework, I was wide awake but heavily sleepy at the same time. After my homework was finished, a thick, opaque, dull gray fog would descend upon me.

It was a good thing that my depression ran this way, however. If the situation went the other way around, I probably would have gotten hit by a car or have been a part of some other, possibly life-threatening accident. (I wouldn't have likely have noticed it, either. Not until it was too late, at least.) I would be failing my classes too. I could hardly remember what happened in those dull, foggy moments, except speaking to Carlisle. (Obviously.) I could never even remember what I had for dinner, or if I had eaten any at all. I must have, though-I would have been made to eat.

I would have likely have had my "dull times" while I was doing my homework too, if I hadn't concentrated on it so much. It was one of my only distractions besides school and my commute to it. It kept me thinking about everything that I did not want to think about. Besides that, school, traveling and homework were stuff that required the most concentration. The only good thing that came out of this was that I gained a better understanding of Algebra 2. However, I was neither happy nor grateful about this. And it faintly surprised me-mathematics was the hardest subject in school, in my opinion.

Everybody was worried about me, at home as well as at school. Although I pretended not to notice it, I could see and feel everyone casting nervous, sad, and/or concerned glances at me. I knew why, but at the same time, I didn't. I had no intentions of doing anything that would label me as insane or suicidal. Mrs. Davies had even recommended grief counseling, but I refused to do it.

I did not want to die. I would do anything to be with Mom, Charlie, and Phil again, yes, because I missed them so much that it hurt. But I did not want it to include my life ending as well. I couldn't do that to Carlisle and the rest of my family. I didn't want to do it anyway. They needed me, and I needed them. I did keep to myself almost all the time, but that did not mean that I did not want them around. Besides, I knew that Mom, Charlie, and Phil would have wanted me to try to live a good life. I did not want to disappoint them.

The nightmares had returned, and they were worse than before. This time, I watched my parents and stepfather get crushed to death by the North Tower's debris right before my very eyes. On the weekends, Carlisle would hold me and comfort me until I managed to stop crying. Then he would sing to me until I fell asleep. If he was working, Carlisle would have Esme put him on the phone so that he could sing to me all the same.

I cried often, at least once or twice a day, usually after dinner and before bedtime in my room. I did not want anyone to see me cry. Carlisle did, but he was the only one besides Esme. They would never say anything, just rub my hair and cradle me.

I barely spoke. I hardly talked to anyone as well, Edward least of all. I still loathed him for being the bearer of bad news. Whether he knew this and/or took it personally, I had no idea. As I mentioned before, I barely noticed anything once the "depression's fog" lowered it's gray curtain. I did not want to tell anyone about how sad I really was. I preferred to suffer in silence. This worried everyone even more. Everyone would try to get me to talk, but my replies were almost always monosyllabic and rarely came out as full sentences.

Other than homework, I did not have the motivation to do anything else. I would be too deep in my thoughts to. And if someone _had_ managed to convince me to do something, I easily grew bored.

"I wish that I knew what would make Bella cheer up at least a little bit," I heard Alice say when I was in the dining room a week and a half after the funeral.

There was a sigh. "I know," Rosalie mumbled. "We've tried almost everything."

"She hasn't truly smiled or laughed in weeks. She use to do both nearly all of the time before...well, you know. If only I knew what would make her do either," Carlisle added morosely.

I turned to him and tried to do both. Just so that he would feel happy and less miserable and worried. I would do anything I could to do make him feel better, at least. But the muscles in my face did not cooperate. It made me so sad that I had to run to my bedroom to cry.

**Carlisle's POV**

_His account of the days that passed the day after the funeral_

The next three weeks that went by were the most quiet and depressing I had ever experienced. Those dreaded three months after my transformation could not even compare to them.

I had never felt so helpless in my life as I watched Bella wander around the apartment like a lost soul. That is, if she left her room at all, save for the times she had dinner or went to school. She would never had left it if she had nothing else to do.

She rarely spoke. In fact, she was so quiet that I or the others would have to go to her room to make sure that she was all right. If Bella would have just talked more often, it would not have been so bad. The silence made me frightened and uneasy. I knew that Bella was not particularly loquacious at times unless she was around me, but at least she _did_ talk.

However, she cried more than she talked. Being a private person, she did not do so in front of us. So whenever I heard her sobbing, I would go to her room and hold her for hours. Or at least until I had to leave for work, depending on what day it was. Sometimes I would cry with her, but I never let her know this. It only added to her despair.

Bella did not engage in any diverting activities either. When she had finished her homework, we would ask her to watch a movie or play a game with us. She would refuse to, and no amount of begging or pleading would change her mind. For the first time, _I_ could not even get her to do anything that would have normally been fun to her. This filled me with dismay because I could usually convince her to spend some time with me and/or the family.

Instead, Bella spent most of her time in her room. When she was not doing her homework, she would just sit on her bed or in her armchair, staring into space with blank, empty eyes. She did not move, even if the room became dark. She would not turn on her lamp-she did not want to.

I found this out late one Saturday evening. It was unusually silent in the apartment as usual, so I went to check on her for the eighth time that day. She was slumped on her bed, gazing unseeingly out of the window. I had never seen anyone look so lifeless in my entire existence. I had seen corpses that had more animation in them. The room was very dark. If it weren't for my vampire vision, I would have barely been able to see anything.

"Sweetheart, why are you sitting here in the dark?" I queried gently, flicking the lights on.

"Turn it off," Bella murmured in a low voice.

I nearly jumped. It was the first time she had spoken in hours. "Excuse me?" I asked.

"Turn it off," she repeated, her voice somewhat firm this time.

"Er...all right. But why?" I was truly curious.

She shifted. "Because I don't want it on. I want it to be dark. I like it that way-it's comforting."

"Bella, don't be silly," I protested. "You will hurt yourself if you try to walk to the door. There is not much comfort in getting hurt."

There was no response to this other than a quiet, "Just turn it off, please."

I could only look at her.

When I did not move, Bella turned to me. Fury was in her eyes, but I was glad that there was. There was more emotion in them, other than sadness, than there had been in days.

"Carlisle...I don't mean to yell at you and hurt your feelings, but TURN OFF THE LIGHT!" she bellowed, causing me to jump once more.

I shook my head. "No."

Roaring in frustration, she crawled over to the other side of the bed and did it herself. I turned it back on.

"What are you doing?!" Bella shouted. She moved to shut it off, but I blocked her way.

"Enough. Stop with this nonsense. I want you to keep that light on so that you won't risk hurting yourself," I announced sternly.

Bella glared at me, and I glared back, crossing my arms. She put her hands on her hips, and I almost smiled. She was such a cutie when she was angry.

"You think that this is funny, Carlisle William Cullen?" she growled-rather impressively, I must add. She had obviously noticed the amusement in my eyes.

I quirked an eyebrow in shock. "Who told you my middle name?" I demanded, taken aback.

"Alice did. Do you think that this is funny?"

"On the whole, no I don't kitten. You look like a kitten when you're mad. It's very cute and endearing," I remarked, trying to tease her into laughing.

Narrowing her eyes, she gave me a dirty look in return.

We continued to glare at each other until I had finally stared her down. She huffed and plopped onto the bed, but thankfully kept the light on.

Bella's appearance had also changed, and not for the better. There were now dark shadows underneath her usually hollow eyes, and she was paler than ever. And even though we fed her regularly, she had became thinner. Her hair, which had been full of life, was lank and dull.

Esme was fraught with worry about all of this, including myself and the others. She was so distracted that she could not think of much else. By the end of the three weeks, she felt as helpless as I did. But it wasn't until the fourth week when I found out just how much.

Early one morning before dawn, I returned home after work. I had just reached the landing outside of my apartment when I heard someone crying. However, it was not Bella this time. It was Esme.

I opened the door to see her curled up in Edward's arms, her face buried in his neck.

I went over to them and put my hand on her back. "What is the matter, my dear?" I inquired in concern.

With a broken sob, Esme wiped her eyes and faced me. "I'm...I'm scared...about Bella," she wept.

Fear crept into me. "Why? Did she get hurt? Has she been harmed?" I demanded.

"N-No...but she is hurting deep down inside. She never talks about it, but I know that she is. And I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make her feel better. And what if she doesn't? What if she never recovers from her grief?"

"_Don't_ say that. She will after some time. You cannot just expect her to get over all of this in two seconds. It takes time for people to recover from grief, and it takes longer for some than others," I pointed out.

"I know that, Daddy, but...that doesn't stop me from worrying. She is so depressed that I'm afraid that she's going to become ill, or that she will try to hurt herself. I'm...I'm so scared that I will lose her. When Bella is at home, her head is in the clouds, but in a sadder way. What if she starts getting absentminded when she goes to school, or leaving from there? If she does, then she wouldn't pay much attention to anything, and she could get hurt or...or worse. I don't want that to happen. I don't want to lose my baby. Bella is like my own flesh and blood, and if something happened to her...I don't know what I would do," she concluded before breaking down entirely.

I did not comment on this, but I completely understood how she felt. She was not the only one who had these same fears. I did as well, but I had never told anyone about it. I did not even like to think about them...my heart clenched in pain whenever I did.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps approaching before entering the room. I looked around to see Bella, who had tears running down her cheeks.

**Bella's POV**

_Minutes before_

I was sleeping fitfully when something woke me up. I did not know what it was at first until I heard a woman sobbing. It took another moment for me to realize that it was Esme who was weeping.

With a perplexed frown, I sat up. I had never heard her cry before. Something must have been horribly wrong. I tried to figure out what it could be and received an answer seconds later.

I heard the apartment's door open, silence, then:

"What is the matter, my dear?" Carlisle asked in a worried voice. He was clearly speaking to Esme.

She sobbed before wailing, "I'm...I'm scared...about Bella."

"Why? Did she get hurt? Has she been harmed?" Carlisle questioned urgently.

"N-No...but she is hurting deep down inside. She never talks about it, but I know that she is. And I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make her feel better. And what if she doesn't? What if she never recovers from her grief?" Esme demanded in fear.

"_Don't_ say that," Carlisle ordered sternly. "She will after some time. You cannot just expect her to get over all of this in two seconds. It takes time for people to recover from grief, and it takes longer for some than others."

"I know that, Daddy, but...that doesn't stop me from worrying. She is so depressed that I'm afraid that she's going to become ill, or that she will try to hurt herself. I'm...I'm so scared that I will lose her. When Bella is at home, her head is in the clouds, but in a sadder way. What if she starts getting absentminded when she goes to school, or leaving from there? If she does, then she wouldn't pay much attention to anything, and she could get hurt or...or worse. I don't want that to happen. I don't want to lose my baby. Bella is like my own flesh and blood, and if something happened to her...I don't know what I would do," she stated before melting into tears again.

My mouth fell in horror and dismay, and pain rushed into my heart. I had no idea that she felt this way, that all of this fear had been bottled up inside of her. This was not say much, though...I had barely noticed anything lately. Still, I did not want her to believe that I would bring harm to myself, intentionally or otherwise. Tears stung my eyes as I left my room.

When I stepped into the living room, I saw Edward holding Esme in his arms on the loveseat. Carlisle was kneeling down in front of them, patting her back. They must have heard coming because they looked up as I came in.

Esme sat up. "Bella, what are you doing up this early? Go back to bed. You need your sleep."

Ignoring this statement, I ran into in her arms. "Mom...you don't have to be afraid that you'll lose me because you won't...I promise. I am depressed, but it doesn't mean that I'm suicidal. I don't want to die anyway. I don't want to break your hearts like that. I want to stay with you because I love you all so much. You have no idea how much I need all of you. I wouldn't know what I would do without you, especially now that my parents and stepfather are dead. I would have gone crazy if I hadn't met any of you and thought that I was all alone in the world," I sobbed.

She hugged me so fiercely that it hurt, but I did not care. "I'm very glad to hear that because I don't know what I would do without you either, my beautiful daughter. You have no clue how much I need you too. I don't think that I would have ever had another chance at motherhood if it hadn't been for you. I love you as if you are my own flesh and blood. You know that, do you not?" she whispered.

"Well, if I didn't, I do now," I murmured, kissing her on cheek. "And I'm happy that you do. And I will get better someday, Mommy. I don't know when, or how long it will take for me to. I probably won't for a long time, but I eventually will. I promise."

**(A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!)**


	4. A Disastrous Shopping Trip

(Warning! This chapter contains non-sexual teenage spanking. Don't like, don't read.)

**Bella's POV**

Things had gotten a just a teeny bit better since that morning when Esme confessed their fears to Carlisle. Everyone (at home, at least) had stopped giving me weird looks and seemed more relaxed around me.

I was still very depressed, though, but this was not unexpected. I would very likely be for an uncertain time.

The next few days passed by in that same dull-gray blur, and before I knew it, it was Halloween. Nearly everyone that I knew was going to do something special that day. Oakland High was closed because of a professional development day, so I had the day off from school.

I had not planned to do anything except sleep in and stay home. I felt that I was a little too old to do anything for Halloween.

But my plans were thwarted. On Halloween, I was awakened earlier than I had wanted to be by loud clapping sounds. I hated it when somebody woke me up when I was trying to sleep. It annoyed me and made me very unfriendly.

With a deep frown, I opened my eyes blearily and turned to the source of the noise. Seriously, what the fuck? It was only 8:30!

Alice and Rosalie were standing next to my bed. The latter grinned cheerily and clapped in my face. I jumped, which made them laugh.

"Rise and shine, Bella! It's time to get up!" she proclaimed.

"No, it isn't. It's _time_ for you to get out of my room and let me sleep! I'm exhausted," I grumbled. I turned away from them and buried my head in my pillow.

My hand was tugged a second later. "Really, Bella. Come on and get up," Alice ordered.

"For what?!" I yelled in irritation as I glared at her.

She smiled widely, ignoring my frustration. "Rosalie and I are going shopping for more clothes and Halloween costumes. We're going trick or treating tonight too, and _you_ are coming with us!"

"No, I am _not_. What do you want me to come for? You know that I hate shopping," I pointed out coldly. "And what do you need to go trick or treating for? You're vampires...you have no need for candy since you can't eat it."

Rosalie crossed her arms. "Very funny. And we are taking you with us because other than school, you never leave the house for anything. You need to get out more. Besides, we want to hang out with you and do something fun."

"Well, I could see trick or treating as being a fun activity, but how is _shopping_ fun? It's too straightforward. All you have to do is find the clothes that fit you and look presentable, buy them, and walk out. And it would normally take twenty minutes or less."

Both Alice and Rosalie stared at me in disbelief and outrage, as if I had completely lost my mind.

"_Straightforward_?!" Rosalie screeched when she had found her voice.

"And it would only take twenty minutes or _less_?! Do you know how serious shopping is?" Alice demanded.

"I don't believe it is so serious that you have to spend five hours doing it," I argued.

"That's because you have no fashion sense!"

"Just because I don't like to wear the same type of clothes that you wear, it does not mean that I don't have any."

"How would you know if you have any or not with the clothes that _you_ wear?"

"Well, if I didn't, I would be going around dressed like a tipsy clown."

"You wouldn't know a badly-dressed tipsy clown from a badly-dressed sober clown!"

Carlisle opened the door and walked in. "All right, that's enough! I am fed up with all of this bickering," he declared in an exasperated voice. "You should be ashamed of yourselves for speaking to each other in this manner. Many of your comments are rude, hurtful and uncalled for. I never want to hear any of you speak to each other like this again, or you will all receive a spanking. Yes, you too, Bella. I will call Edward and have him come over here if I need to. Do you understand me, girls?"

We nodded sheepishly. "Yes, Dad." "Yes, Carlisle."

He eyed us closely. "Good. Bella dear, may I please talk to you?"

"Yeah."

"Alice, Rosalie, could you give us some privacy."

They inclined their heads and left the room.

He sat next to me and threw his arm around my waist. "Well...hello," he greeted.

"Hey," I muttered in a sullen voice. "What's up?"

"Oh, the usual. I was just doing some paperwork. That is, until the argument."

I peered at my knees. "Sorry."

Carlisle waved his hand. "It is all right now. Well, moving on. I was listening to what you three were saying, and I think that you should go with them."

My jaw dropped. "W-What?! Why? You of all people know that I don't like shopping!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, I do know that, sweetheart. Still, you should go with them. You are their sister, and they want to spend time with you. They haven't had much of a chance to lately. Besides, you should get out more often. So, go on. They will look after you."

I slumped. "Ohhhhh, do I _have_ to?" I groaned.

"No, but I still want you to go. Do it for Alice and Rosalie. And if not for them, do it for me. They want to hang out with you."

"But Carlisle..." I almost whined.

"Please?" he begged, cutting me off.

I wished that I could refuse him sometimes. It was so unfair that I couldn't in situations like these.

I exhaled deeply. "Fine. I'll go," I conceded grudgingly after a long moment before standing up. "But I won't like it. I won't even _pretend_ that I do."

"Well, when you are at the mall, find something about it that will make your shopping trip worthwhile," Carlisle suggested, trying to be helpful.

"For what? There's no point in it when I know that I hate shopping."

"Bella, do you always have to be so stubborn?"

I shrugged. "I wouldn't be me if I weren't."

This time, Carlisle chuckled. "Yes, that it true. But think about what I told you. You might actually have a nice time."

"Yeah, when Emmett finally grows up."

He laughed outright and kissed me on the forehead. "Go on and get dressed, Bella. I will prepare your breakfast for you."

After saying this, he left the room. I reluctantly picked out something to wear before taking a shower.

My breakfast was on the table by the time I entered the kitchen. Carlisle had made my favorite, probably to coax me into going shopping. But even blueberry Belgium waffles and orange juice did not have the ability to do that. It was almost too bad. Most of the time, I would do almost anything for my favorite breakfast. If it weren't for Carlisle, I would have gone back to sleep minutes ago. Why did I let him convince me to do this?

I ate my waffles as slowly as possible so that I wouldn't have to leave too soon. Carlisle filled out his paperwork, humming to himself. Alice and Rosalie were chattering excitedly in the living room.

Thankfully, it took ten minutes longer than it usually did for me to finish my food. I washed my dishes as well. Carlisle had offered to do it, but I wouldn't let him.

Alice sighed in relief when I was done. "Finally! We can go! Hurry up and put your coat on," she called to me.

"Okay, okay," I grumbled. I took my heavy jacket out of the coat closet and put on.

Carlisle came out to say good-bye to us. "All right, girls. Have fun, and be careful out there. Take care of Bella," he admonished as he hugged and kissed Alice and Rosalie.

Rosalie nodded. "Don't worry, Dad. We will."

Then Carlisle embraced me. "Be good, my dear, and please...try to find a way enjoy yourself," he implored in a low voice.

I kissed him on the cheek. "Okay, I'll try. But I'm not promising anything."

"Thank you, Bellissima. All I ask is that you try," he whispered. He placed a wallet in my hand. "There is five hundred dollars in it. Buy whatever you want. Go crazy."

I probably would within the next hour or two.

He gave me a kiss and let me go. We waved to him before leaving the apartment.

Rosalie drove us to the mall in her red convertible. I sulked in the backseat for the entire ride. Why did I let Carlisle convince me to do this?

"Bella, come on. Please cheer up. Shopping isn't as bad or as boring as you think it is," Alice said in a pleading voice.

I did not comment or respond. She sighed wearily and chose to leave me alone.

We arrived at the mall a short time later. Alice and Rosalie debated on what store they wanted to go to first. When they had finally settled on one, we made our way to it.

I was not kidding when I told Carlisle that I would not even pretend to like this expedition. I did try to find something that would make it worthwhile for his sake, though.

At first, I looked over the clothes. They were rather beautiful, but they weren't in the style that I liked, which sucked.

However, it was obvious Alice and Rosalie loved them (big surprise.) They grabbed any number of items off of the racks and tried on a few. They attempted to get me to do the same, but I told them no.

"Whyyyyy?" Alice whined.

"Because I don't like the style. They're not the type of clothes that I would wear," I retorted in a sullen voice.

"But aren't they pretty? Don't they look good on us?"

"Yes...but that doesn't mean that _I_ would wear them. They're not me."

She rolled her eyes in annoyance. "You have such poor taste, Bella."

I shrugged indifferently. I really could have cared less. "Too bad for me," I muttered in a sarcastic voice.

Rosalie frowned and shook her head at me. "You can be so mean sometimes, Bella," she commented.

"And that's just too bad too, isn't it?"

She huffed and stormed away in indignation, grumbling to herself.

They resumed shopping then, but with much less enthusiasm this time. I sat near the door and waited for them, feeling bored and unhappy.

It did not take long for them to pick out the rest of the clothes that they wanted. Within a half an hour, they were standing in the check-out line. Their carts were filled to the brim with t-shirts and dresses and I didn't know (or care) what else. After they had bought everything, I followed them out of the store.

I found myself in yet another one with them almost immediately. Groaning internally, I wished that the "depression's fog" would surround me again. It would truly come in handy. However, it was just as well that it didn't. I would have likely gotten into some form of trouble because I had bumped into something or someone.

"Bella, are you paying attention?" Rosalie demanded, interrupting my thoughts.

"Huh?" I asked, turning to her.

"Apparently, you aren't. I said that this store sells the kind of clothes that you like. Do you want to buy a couple of outfits?"

I shook my head. "No. I don't really need any clothes. I have more than enough at home."

"One can _never_ have enough clothes," Alice declared.

"Well, I can," I remarked. "I don't see the point in having more than is really needed."

Both Alice and Rosalie facepalmed.

"Bella...you need help," Alice stated.

I shot her a dirty look. _She_ was the one who needed help, in my opinion. She was almost always too happy for somebody who wasn't human. If she were not a vampire, she probably would have gotten a check-up years ago.

Alice returned the look as if she knew what I was thinking. After that, she and Rosalie dragged me over to shop that was selling Halloween costumes.

They browsed through the racks until they had found the costume that they liked. Alice picked out a racy Little Red Riding Hood outfit. It consisted of a black corset trimmed with white lace that was fastened with a red ribbon crisscrossed on the front of it. She picked out a pair of red knee-high boots to go with them.

Rosalie had picked out a light-blue genie costume that was made with sheer fabric. It came with a pair of light-blue slippers.

"Okay, Bella," she announced after trying on the outfit. "It's your turn to pick out a costume. Is there anyone or anything in particular that you want to be?"

"Could I be a ghost?" I deadpanned.

She blinked, taken aback. "Why would you want to be a ghost?" she inquired.

"Because if I wore a zombie costume, it would look too perfect on me because I look so glum. At least with a ghost costume, I can cover myself up," I replied.

Alice glared at me with an are-you-serious look on her face. "You are being absolutely ridiculous. Can't you think of a prettier costume to wear?"

"No, not really."

"Okay, then. Why don't we find a costume for you? We promise to make it age-appropriate."

I shrugged. "Even if I said no, you would do it anyway since I can't stop either of you. Go ahead, but I can't make any promises that I'll like what you pick out for me."

"Whatever you say."

They scanned the store for a costume that they thought would look good on me. Pretty soon, they found a non-revealing kitten outfit.

"How is this?" Rosalie queried.

I looked it over. "It's beautiful," I admitted. I sounded unimpressed, but I wasn't. I wasn't impressed either, though. I just didn't care. I just wanted them to leave me alone and stop pestering me. "I guess that I'll buy it..." I whispered, my voice trailing off. I wanted to spend at least _some_ money. If I didn't, it would hurt Carlisle's feelings.

I took the costume from her resignedly. After that, we paid for our costumes and left the store.

For the remainder of the day, we shopped at a variety of stores in two different malls. Well, Alice and Rosalie did. I just trailed after them in a moody silence. I didn't buy anything else...there was nothing that I particularly wanted or needed. I had just about everything that I could ever want or need at the apartment. Well, I did want to go home, but I couldn't buy my way there.

By noon, they were officially tired of me. They stopped asking me how they looked in certain outfits, or if I liked the perfume or the make-up that they had tried on. It was a good thing too. I was not in the mood to answer them. Not in a positive manner, at least.

This did not come as a surprise, though. I had been indifferent, rude, indifferent, stubborn, indifferent, sulky, indifferent, sarcastic, indifferent, disrespectful, indifferent, antagonistic, indifferent, mean, indifferent, scornful, indifferent, petty, indifferent, cruel, indifferent, sullen, indifferent, disagreeable, indifferent, apathetic, indifferent, negative, indifferent, impossible, indifferent, cold-hearted, and indifferent for the entire outing.

And, of course, I could not find it in myself to care.

I tried to do what Carlisle had asked me to do. I honestly did, but it was hard. I was so bored and exasperated that I was unable to enjoy myself at all. Plus, I was furious with him. More furious than I had been on the night when he would not let me keep my bedroom light off. Why did he make me go shopping when he knew that I didn't like it? Why couldn't he just let me stay home?

These were questions that I asked myself over and over again. However, my brain could not give me a response to them. No response other than the fact that Carlisle suggested that I spent this time with Alice and Rosalie. But this only enraged me further.

I understood how he felt, of course. Still, why didn't he coax me into going on a different type of outing with them? Like to the movies or something? I wouldn't have minded that as much, even if they had chosen to see a chick-flick that I would have despised.

_Finally_, at long last, Alice and Rosalie were ready to head home. I glanced at my watch...it was a little after five thirty. I had no idea that we had went shopping for that long, although it felt like it.

It was then I realized that I haven't had anything to eat at all after breakfast. But I wasn't hungry, so it didn't matter to me. I haven't felt hungry since Mom, Charlie, and Phil died. I knew that I should have reminded Alice and Rosalie that I was human and needed to eat, but I was so stressed out about the shopping trip that I forgot.

As Rosalie drove us back to the apartment, my head started to spin in wild circles. But I ignored it and didn't say anything. I would have dinner once I was home anyway.

The apartment was dark when we stepped into it a half an hour later. It was obvious that Carlisle was not there. It was too early for him to have gone to the hospital; it was only a little after six o'clock. He did not leave for his eight thirty to five o'clock shift until seven forty.

"That shopping trip wasn't too bad," Rosalie sighed, interrupting my thoughts.

"No, it wasn't," Alice agreed. She turned to me. "What do you think, Bella?"

I harrumphed. "I think that it was boring, exhausting and terrible."

Rosalie pursed her lips. "I don't know why you even bothered to ask her that, Alice. She hasn't been anything but rude and impossible all day," she remarked.

"Maybe I wouldn't have been if you had just left me alone this morning. You should have known that I wasn't going to be happy about coming with you. I've told you a million times that I hate shopping!" I yelled. A shot of pain flared up in my temple and I felt a little dizzy again.

"Well, regardless of how unhappy you were, you didn't have to be negative about it! You act as if shopping is unendurable!" she shot back, storming over to me.

"I never said that it was. I _do_ shop, after all. I just don't think that it's necessary to shop for eight whole hours to get what I want or need! But I didn't want or need anything, so this entire shopping spree was _pointless_!"

"How could you say that?" Rosalie demanded, looking more angry than hurt. "The point of the shopping spree was for us to spend time with each other as Carlisle and I had told you it was. It was not to buy clothes!"

Alice edged in between us. "Bella, Rosalie, stop arguing," she pleaded in distress.

We ignored her.

I raised my hands. "Oh, how enlightening! That makes me feel so much better!"

"It should! We only wanted to cheer you up a little!" Rosalie pointed out as Alice held her back.

"Well, that worked splendidly, seeing as how I didn't enjoy myself!"

"That was your own fault. You were the one who decided not to. Why didn't you just follow Carlisle's advice about finding something worthwhile about the outing?"

"I tried to, but there was nothing worthwhile about it that I could find! I didn't want to go, but nobody cared about what I wanted! I don't know why I had let Carlisle convince me to do this! If he had let me stay home, like I _wanted_ to, everything would have been fine!"

I heard the door open, but I did not look around to see who came in. Neither did Rosalie or Alice.

Rosalie scowled. "You know what, Bella? That is exactly what your problem is! You think that just because you practically raised yourself, you can do whatever you please! Or that you can have your own way! You are nothing but a SELFISH, SPOILED BRAT!" she bellowed.

I smirked smugly as if I didn't care, even though her words stung a little. "Good. Stay away from me, then."

**Carlisle's POV**

While Bella and the girls were shopping, I mostly stayed in the apartment. I finished my paperwork, checked my emails, and watched several movies.

Around 5:45, I decided that it was time to get ready to fix Bella's dinner. She, Alice, and Rosalie had been gone since 9:30. I would be amazed if she were not hungry when she returned.

I peeked into the refrigerator to figure out what to cook. When I saw that it was nearly empty, I grabbed my coat and left for the grocery store.

When I was there, I brought everything that Bella liked to eat and then some. Italian food. Salad. Ice cream. Various fruits and vegetables. Whole grain bread. Her favorite snacks and desserts.

Fifteen minutes later, I was buying everything and leaving the store. As I walked up to the apartment building, I saw Rosalie's convertible parked in front of it. Good, they were home.

I had just reached the first landing when I heard them talking.

"That shopping trip wasn't too bad," Rosalie was saying.

"No, it wasn't. What do you think, Bella?" Alice inquired.

There was a derisive snort. "I think that it was boring, exhausting and terrible," Bella muttered.

I groaned to myself in despair. I had hoped that she would give a different, more kinder answer.

"I don't know why you even bothered to ask her that, Alice. She hasn't been anything but rude and impossible all day," Rosalie huffed.

And I had asked her to try to enjoy herself and to make her outing worthwhile. I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Maybe I wouldn't have been if you had just left me alone this morning. You should have known that I wasn't going to be happy about coming with you. I've told you a million times that I hate shopping!" Bella shouted.

"Well, regardless of how unhappy you were, you didn't have to be negative about it! You act as if shopping is unendurable!"

"I never said that it was. I _do_ shop, after all. I just don't think that it's necessary to shop for eight whole hours to get what I want or need! But I didn't want or need anything, so this entire shopping spree was _pointless_!"

I was horrified by that statement.

"How could you say that?" Rosalie questioned. She sounded angry and hurt, and I could not blame her. "The point of the shopping spree was for us to spend time with each other as Carlisle and I had told you it was. It was not to buy clothes!"

"Bella, Rosalie, stop arguing," Alice implored.

"Oh, how enlightening! That makes me feel so much better!" Bella hollered, paying no attention to her.

"It should! We only wanted to cheer you up a little!" Rosalie implied.

"Well, that worked splendidly, seeing as how I didn't enjoy myself!"

"That was your own fault. You were the one who decided not to. Why didn't you just follow Carlisle's advice about finding something worthwhile about the outing?"

"I tried to, but there was nothing worthwhile about it that I could find! I didn't want to go, but nobody cared about what I wanted! I don't know why I had let Carlisle convince me to do this! If he had let me stay home, like I _wanted_ to, everything would have been fine!"

By now, I was standing outside of my apartment's door. I opened it to see Bella and Rosalie practically at each other's necks. Both of their faces were contorted in rage. Alice was holding onto Rosalie as if she was afraid that she would hit her.

"You know what, Bella? That is exactly what your problem is! You think that just because you practically raised yourself, you can do whatever you please! Or that you can have your own way! You are nothing but a SELFISH, SPOILED BRAT!" Rosalie yelled.

Bella gave her a petulant smile. "Good. Stay away from me, then," she remarked in a low, indifferent voice.

I decided that it was high time for me to put a stop to this. "ENOUGH!" I announced, stepping over to them. They jumped and turned to me. "Bella and Rosalie, how could you two be so cruel and unfeeling towards each other? Have I not told you that I don't want you to speak to each other in this manner?"

They bowed their heads in shame. "Yes, Carlisle," they mumbled at the same time.

Narrowing my eyes, I asked, "Now...will you explain to me what the argument was all about?"

Rosalie moved forward. "It was all Bella's fault, Dad! She has been rude, sarcastic, sulky, and indifferent ever since we started shopping! She wouldn't even make an attempt to be happy or to enjoy herself! Someone needed to tell her that she is a spoiled brat-"

Bella laughed. "You should talk! I've never met anyone more spoiled than you are!"

I peered at her sternly. "Bella, don't interrupt please. Continue, Rosalie," I ordered.

"Anyway, someone had to tell her that she's a selfish, spoiled brat, so I decided to do it for her! When we were at the mall, Bella didn't buy anything except for her Halloween costume. She refused to try on any clothes, even the kind that she liked. She mostly just sulked for the whole time until I wished that we _had_ left her here. And as I said, she was rude and sarcastic to both me and Alice."

"Maybe I wouldn't have been if you had just let me stay home-" Bella cut in once more.

I turned to Bella again. "Bella, I have asked you not to interrupt. Is what she said true?" I queried.

She did not respond, only glowered at her feet.

With a sigh, I buried my face in my palm. "Isabella Marie, that was not a rhetorical question."

Her head shot up and she stared at me with wide eyes. So did Alice and Rosalie. It abruptly occurred to me that I never called Bella by her formal and middle names. But I was too fed up with this nonsense to care.

I rose an eyebrow when she remained quiet. "Well?" I drew out the word.

Bella just shrugged. I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Isabella, go and sit down in the living room. I shall be having a word with you in a minute."

She obeyed without hesitation.

**Bella's POV**

I plopped onto the couch with a huff. Aside from the fact that I had a fight with Rosalie, I did not see another reason for me to get in trouble. What else had I done wrong? It wasn't my fault that I didn't want to go!

Groaning to myself, I rubbed my temples wearily. My head was really started to hurt quite a bit now, and the dizziness was getting worse.

"Rosalie," Carlisle began. "I understand how upset you must feel. Truly, I do. But you had no right at all to call Bella a selfish, spoiled brat. She is neither selfish nor spoiled-"

"But she is, Dad," Rosalie protested. "She thinks that everything has to go her way all of the time. Or that she can do whatever she wants or have what she wants at any time. Just because she raised herself, it does not mean that she can."

"I do NOT think any of that. Everything doesn't go my way, and I know it! Besides, since when did I have _everything_ that I wanted?!" I bellowed. "Lately, I barely have had anything that I've wanted lately...!"

Carlisle let out a frustrated growl. "Rosalie, for the last time, don't interrupt me! If you keep this up, I will spank you! And Bella, I need you to stop interrupting me to, or I shall call Edward. Both of you are in enough trouble."

Then he shifted his attention back to Rosalie. "Now, Rosalie. Bella is not selfish or spoiled, and she does not act as if everything has to go her way, or that she can have what she wants all of the time. She knows that she cannot either. If she did, she would be as spoiled and selfish as you have claimed. I think that you should apologize to her for calling her that."

Rosalie's jaw dropped. "For what?! She was the one who was being rude to us!"

"Nevertheless, you had no right to call Bella names. Now, go on and apologize to her, and you had better mean it. Bella, please sit back down."

I had begun to walk over to them. My head was really aching and spinning now. I wanted to ask Carlisle for a pain reliever. All of the bickering and complaining was really driving me nuts by this time.

"Carlisle, I..." I whispered.

"I will not ask again, Bella."

He turned to say something else to Rosalie. At the same time, my head did one big twirl. I reached out to Carlisle so that I could steady myself. But I missed his arm and started to collapse.

Alice noticed because I heard her scream, "Carlisle! Bella's going to faint!"

I hit something cold and hard then, and my vision grew dark.

"Bella? Sweetheart, can you hear me?" Carlisle demanded in a panicked voice.

And then I heard no more.

**Carlisle's POV**

I was just about to tell Rosalie to apologize to Bella again when Alice grabbed me.

"Carlisle! Bella's going to faint!" she cried.

I pivoted in time to see Bella falling. I knelt down in vampire speed and caught her in before she hit the ground.

"Bella? Sweetheart, can you hear me?" I inquired wildly, lightly smacking her pale-white face. I could not understand how this had happened. Why didn't I pay attention to her when she stood up? She probably wanted to tell me that she felt lightheaded.

When Bella did not answer, I laid her on the sofa. Then I attempted to revive her.

"Bella, honey, wake up. Wake up. Can you hear me?" I murmured.

She did not reply, but her stomach rumbled loudly.

I turned to Alice and Rosalie, frowning in confusion. "Did Bella have lunch when you were at the mall?"

They exchanged glances before shaking their heads tentatively.

A growl of fury rose in my throat. "She didn't have lunch? Why not?!" I half-yelled.

Alice gulped. "B-Bella did not say anything about being hungry, and I forgot that she did not eat anything," she whispered.

"Yeah, and...I forgot too. We were so busy shopping that..." Rosalie stammered, her voice trailing off.

I bolted up. "What the fuck do you mean that you forgot?! You know that Bella has to eat at least three times a day! Dammit! I know that she has been depressed lately, and has lost her appetite. However, you are still suppose to make sure that she eats, regardless of whether she is hungry or not! That is very likely one of the reasons that she fainted! She is half-starved, and it didn't help that she is stressed out either! Is shopping really more important than taking care of your sister and making sure she that she is fed?! Both of you are hereby indefinitely banned from shopping!"

Their mouths fell in horror.

"Daddy, no! Not that! _Please_!" Alice begged.

"You can't do that to us!" Rosalie whined.

"Oh, yes I can, little girl. In addition to that, you will both receive a spanking. Rosalie, you will go first."

"Why me?"

"Because you have been careless in looking after _my_ sister, and you have refused to apologize to her. You will apologize to her when she wakes up. First, I need to calm myself. I am too upset right now. You will both stay here with Bella while I settle down. And do not even think about leaving this apartment, or you will regret it. And once I am done with your punishment, you will cook Bella a full meal. Do you hear me Rosalie Lillian Cullen and Mary Alice Brandon Cullen?"

They nodded. "Yes, Daddy."

I went to my room and closed the door. Then I paced back and forth to pull myself together. I still could not believe that they did not remember that Bella had to eat. I was furious with the both of them!

It was some time before I was calm enough to deal with them. I took a deep breath, then called Rosalie.

She entered the room a second later, and I looked up.

"Well, Rosalie. I am certain that I had said enough earlier, so I believe that it is time to for you to receive your spanking. I assume that you know why you are receiving it?" I questioned.

"Yes. It's because I didn't apologize to Bella for calling her a spoiled brat and for arguing with her. Plus, I did not make sure that she ate lunch, which is why she passed out," she stated.

"Good. Now undo your jeans and lower your underwear and lay across my lap."

Rosalie obeyed with reluctance. I rubbed her back gently and tightened my arm around her waist.

_Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat!  
_

She jumped as I began to spank her, but otherwise kept still.

_Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat!_

This time, she let out a sob.

_Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat!_

"Ahhh! All right, Daddy, I'm sorry! I'll behave myself next time!" she wept.

"I hope so," I remarked before moving on to her sit spots.

"OUCH!" _Swat! Swat!_ _Swat! ____SWAT! SWAT!_ "AHHHHHHH! Daddy, please stop! I'm sorry!"_  
_

"I know that you are, Rosalie."

I continued to let her feel my displeasure for a few minutes before speaking. "Rosalie Lillian, I am extremely disappointed in you. I have told you and your sisters earlier not to argue with one another, or call each other rude and hurtful names, and you have disobeyed me. You were also heedless in regards to looking after Bella. You have to remember that she is still human and needs to eat regularly. You will _never_ forget to make sure that she eats again when she goes on an outing with you. If you take her anywhere with her, you will look after her and keep her safe. And you will _not_ fight with her again or partake in any name-calling. She is my soul mate and will soon be the other head of this family. If you harm her, intentionally or not, you _will_ be in serious trouble. Do you understand me?"

_SWAT! SWAT! __SWAT! SWAT!_

"OW! Yes, Daddy!"

_Swat! Swat!_ _Swat!_ "Let this be the last time that I have to discuss this with you."

"It is, Daddy, I swear!" Rosalie cried before breaking down completely.

I gave her ten more swats, then made her stand to fix her clothes. After that, I took her in my arms. "It is okay now, my dear. We do now have to think of this again," I whispered as she sobbed into my chest. I rubbed her back soothingly.

"Daddy, I am sorry. Can you ever forgive me?" she wailed.

"Of course I can. I already have."

Rosalie tightened her grip on me and wept some more. I rocked her back and forth, murmuring soft words to her.

It took a while for her to calm down, but she eventually did. When she was no longer crying, I brushed away her tears.

"You may sit in the living room now so that I can speak to Alice. Sit with Bella and try to revive her. Once I am finished, you will both start on preparing her dinner. All right?" I queried.

She nodded. "Yes," she replied.

"Good. Oh, and I must apologize for cursing at you and your sister. I had lost some control of myself, but it was still wrong of me to do it. Forgive me?"

"Yes, Daddy. I know that you didn't mean to."

I kissed her on the cheek. "Go on, now. Alice? You may come here," I called to her.

She opened the door. "Okay," she said, moving aside so that Rosalie could pass.

When she was standing before me, I folded my hands. "All right, Mary Alice. Since you did not join in Bella and Rosalie's argument, you are not in as much trouble. However, you still are in enough of it. Do you know why?"

"Yes, I do. I also didn't pay attention to the fact that Bella did not have lunch," she responded in a whimper.

I bobbed my head. "Correct. And you already know why it was wrong. Or do I have to ask if you do?"

"No, you don't have to. I know why."

"Excellent. Well, you know why you are receiving this spanking. Let us get to it, shall we?"

Alice wiped her eyes. "Is it going to be on the bare."

I nodded. "Yes, Alice. So unfasten your jeans and pull down your underwear."

She did as I told her. Once she had, I guided her over my lap and held her tightly.

I gave her thirty swats before lecturing her. "Mary Alice, you were also heedless in taking care of Bella, and I am disappointed in you. When Rosalie had not taken it upon herself to ensure that she ate, you should have remembered to do so. You were both shopping with her and one of you could have reminded Bella to have lunch. But neither of you did, and as a result, she fainted. You will _never_ let a situation like this happen ever again. You _will_ make sure that Bella eats if she accompanies you on an outing. You need to think of your sister before you think of shopping. Is that clear, Mary Alice Brandon Cullen?" I emphasized my question with seven more swats.

"Yes, Daddy...OWWWW! It's clear! I understand," Alice sobbed loudly.

"It had better be, little lady. And I hope that I never had to bring this up again."

"AHHH! You won't, Daddy! I'll look after Bella the right way next time!"

"I hope so."

I finished off with ten more swats before comforting her. Even though her spanking did not last as long as Rosalie's, it took longer for her to settle down. But she eventually did after several minutes.

I kissed her and gave her one last hug. "Okay, Alice. We are finished with our discussion. You may fix Bella's dinner with Rosalie now."

She inclined her head and jumped off of my lap. I followed her out of the room.

Bella had not regained consciousness, much to my disappointment. I threw a blanket over her to keep her warm. Then I tried to wake her up again.

"Come on, Bella. Please wake up. Can you hear me, love? Wake up, it's Carlisle," I urged in a gentle voice.

She did not move or open her eyes. I took her hand and caressed it.

Behind me, I could hear Alice and Rosalie chopping and stirring. I looked around to see what they were making. It turned out to be mushroom ravioli and spinach, Bella's favorite dinner.

As they continued to cook, I tried to revive Bella a few times. However, it was not until the food was halfway done before she began to stir.

She moved around a little and sniffed faintly. "Mmmm...that smells good. What's cooking?" she grunted, opening her eyes.

I couldn't help but laugh in delight and amusement. "The smell of that food certainly woke you up! Are you all right, kitten? You gave us all a good scare," I noted.

"Uh huh, I'm fine. What happened?" she inquired.

"You fainted. And speaking of which, why didn't you eat lunch?"

Bella's expression turned morose. "I...I wasn't hungry. Plus, I was so upset about having to go shopping. That no one seemed to care that I didn't want to go or about my opinions. that I...I just didn't remember that I should have eaten until we had left the mall. I was going to eat when I came home. Honest, I was. But Rosalie and I started to argue and...well, you know," she murmured.

I kissed her forehead. I could see that she was being truthful. "I believe you, my dear. And it is not true that no one cares about your opinions or what you want. I am just glad that you are okay. Alice and Rosalie are cooking something right now. Why did you not tell me that you felt faint?" I queried.

"I tried to, Carlisle, but you made me sit back down."

Mentally beating myself black and blue for being inattentive of her needs, I pulled her into me. "Oh, baby. I am so sorry. I did not intend to make you feel ignored. Can you ever forgive me?"

She inclined her head. "Yeah, of course. I know that you would never ignore me."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Bella close her eyes for a minute, then opened them. "Am I going to be spanked for what I did?"

Giving her another kiss, I whispered, "No."

I made Bella rest as Alice and Rosalie continued to fix her dinner. When it was ready, I placed a TV tray in front of Bella.

"Carlisle, I could have eaten at the table," she protested as I sat her up.

I waved my hand. "Nonsense, Bella. You don't want to trigger the dizziness again. Go ahead and eat before your food gets cold. It looks delicious."

She rose an eyebrow before doing as I requested. For the first time in weeks, she was truly hungry. It only took her fifteen minutes to eat her dinner. I supposed that making her favorite dinner helped.

Once her plate was clean, Alice offered to wash the dishes.

"Go on, then. I need Rosalie to stay here anyway," I remarked.

She nodded and left the room.

I turned to Rosalie. "Well, I believe that you owe someone an apology."

"Yes." She glanced at Bella. "Bella, I'm sorry for being rude to you, and for calling you a spoiled, selfish brat. I was not called for."

Bella smiled weakly. "I forgive you, Rose. You were only upset, after all. Can you forgive me for being rude to you too? I'm sorry that I was."

"Sure."

They hugged each other tightly.

When Alice joined us a minute later, Bella apologized to her as well.

Alice embraced her. "Don't worry about it anymore. It's okay, now. I forgive you."

Because I still wanted Bella to rest, none of us did very much afterwards. We only talked for a while until it was time for Bella to go to sleep. I put her to bed, then called Edward to fill him in on the night's events.

He was not happy with Alice or Rosalie. He did not approve of Bella's behavior either, and was going to give her a strict lecture the next day.

"What has gotten into her?" he demanded.

I sighed as I rubbed Bella's hair. "She is use to being in control of various situations and doing things the way that she wants to. However, since her parents and stepfather died, I believe that Bella felt that everything was going out of her control, especially after I had made her go shopping with Alice and Rose. She is not accustomed to that, or to being forced to do certain things that she does not want to do. I do not blame her for feeling upset," I commented.

"Neither can I, truthfully. But she should learn that everything will not always go her way," he pointed out.

"Bella does know that, son. She knew it long before she had met us."

"What do you think that we should do about that?"

I pursed my lips. "I have no idea. What _can_ be done about it?"

Edward could not answer.

**(A/N: Please review!)**


	5. IMPORTANT NEWS!

**Author's Note**

I have good news. I had published my book this morning! It took a while to do it, but I finally did. If you are interested in buying it, go to , click the Bookstore tab and put The Chronicles of Josie in the search bar. If you read it, I hope that you enjoy it! I

I will also try to update the story ASAP. I am not finished with it, so don't worry. As they always say, the show must go on!

~Iridescent Bellisle Cullen (I.B.C.)~


	6. Forbidden Kisses and Thanksgiving Part 1

** Carlisle's POV**

The next few weeks passed by without any mayhem. However, the incident of the shopping trip and Bella's fainting had left traces.

For one thing, Edward was not speaking to Alice or Rosalie at the moment. Nor was Esme. They had had a falling out with them for "neglecting their daughter's needs" the day after Bella fainted. Esme had became so enraged, in fact, that I had to keep her from attacking them.

"_I can't believe that you would do that to my daughter! You were **supposed** to be looking after her!_" she had roared as I held her back.

I wrapped my arms tighter around her. "Esme, calm down!" I ordered.

"NO! WHAT HAPPENED TO BELLA WAS ALL THEIR FAULT! LET ME _GO_, DAD!"

"_No_, Esme Anne! Settle down _right now_!"

Meanwhile, Edward had taken to shouting at Alice and Rosalie.

"I don't understand why you felt that it was much more necessary to make her have a good time at the mall than to feed her! Where had your minds gone?! And what were you trying to do?! Starve her into compliance?!" he demanded.

Rosalie glared at him. "Hell no! Why would we do that to Bella?"

"Watch you mouth, Rosalie!" I declared in a stern voice.

"That's cruel!" Alice added, looking indignant.

"I hope that you were not! Otherwise, Bella will _never_ go anywhere with you again unless Esme or I decide to accompany you. Do you understand?" Edward inquired loudly.

Letting out a huff, Rosalie muttered, "Whatever." Then she stormed out of the apartment in high dudgeon.

Alice glanced at him and Esme apologetically and followed her.

Bella was not talking to Edward either. He had given her a very stern lecture after dealing with Alice and Rosalie, and it was obvious that what he told her had rankled her greatly.

"I understand that you did not want to go shopping with them. However, you had no right to treat them the way you had. You did not have to be so sulky either. If I hear of any more of this behavior, you will be grounded," I heard him say to her from her bedroom.

"Why?!" Bella questioned in fury. "None of this was my fault! It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been made to go! I had a right to be upset! Wouldn't _you_ be mad if you had to go somewhere that you didn't want to go, but was forced to? Or if you were forced to do something that you didn't want to do?"

Edward sighed irately and tiredly. "Yes. When either happens, I do feel upset. But that doesn't mean that I will make the situation worse by pouting and moping and being rude to other people. It is childish and immature."

There was no comment to this statement.

"Bella, please...don't be like this." Apparently, she was sulking once again. "Carlisle just wanted you to spend time with our sisters. Is that really so bad?"

At first, she did not reply. Then she whispered, "No, it's not. But that didn't mean that I had to go shopping. Why couldn't they ask me to go on different outing?"

"I don't know, but Alice and Rosalie love to shop. It is one of their favorite pastimes. They wanted to do what they like best with you. Besides, there are times when you will _have_ to do what you do not want to do. You just have to go through with it and make the best out of the situation as you can. Everything cannot go your way all of the time."

Bella kept silent. Edward groaned in defeat and left the room.

Other than that, the next few weeks passed without any more trouble. Bella was still struggling through her depression. However, she was recovering, but not as well as I hoped. The nightmares persisted, which was likely why she wasn't. But there were times where she was almost happy...almost.

_If only she would smile,_ I had often thought to myself. _If she would smile just once, then everything would be all right._ It had been a long time since she had. If I knew the secret to what would make her do so, then I would do what I had to do in a millisecond. It did not matter what it was.

XXX

Pretty soon, it was nearly time for Thanksgiving. Before Bella had come into our lives, and after I had adopted my children, my family and I would celebrate by going on a four-day hunt.

We did not know what to do this Thanksgiving, though. We could not leave Bella all alone. All of us wanted to do something together, and whatever we did had to include her too.

It was difficult for us to figure out what we could do. If Bella were a vampire, we would have simply taken her with us on our hunt. But since she was human, we could not. It would be too dangerous for her to come. She could be harmed, and it would be too cold outside for her to go camping. We had no choice but to decide to remain home. Neither the children nor I wanted to go hunting without one of us being there.

We mulled it over until Esme came up with an idea one afternoon while Bella was doing her homework.

"I know what we can do! Why don't we have a little party? Nothing too fancy or extravagant, just music and dancing, as usual. We could even watch movies or play games. I can make a Thanksgiving dinner for Bella beforehand. We can always go hunting another time. And at least this is something that we could all do together," she remarked.

Edward nodded thoughtfully with a grin. "That is a definitely a spectacular plan. I like it."

"So do I. Perhaps Bella will enjoy herself...as long as the music isn't too loud. Or if we don't ask her to dance," I added with a chuckle.

"Yeah. Bella _really_ wouldn't like it if we did that," Emmett stated.

The others laughed heartily.

"No, she wouldn't," Jasper agreed.

I turned to Esme. "Why don't you tell Bella about your idea? She will probably think that it is a good one too."

She inclined her head. "I will after she finishes her homework and has had her dinner."

Accordingly, she did just that. When Bella had completed them and had eaten her meal, Esme asked her to remain in the kitchen. I stayed as well, listening to them as I read the newspaper.

"What did I do now?" Bella questioned in weary annoyance.

Esme rose an eyebrow as she sat down across from her. "Who said that you did anything?"

"How should I know? It seems like everybody likes to conspire behind my back nowadays..."

"That is enough, Isabella! I am really getting sick of your attitude. You did not do anything. I wanted you to stay here so that I can talk you about something."

Bella blinked. "Oh. I apologize. So, what's new, then?"

Esme's gaze softened. "Well..." she began. "On Thanksgiving, our family usually goes on a hunting trip. But we aren't going to this year because you are unable to join us. So, I was thinking that we would have a little party instead. I was even planning to make a special Thanksgiving dinner for you. I was going to make a small turkey and stuffing, collared greens and mashed potatoes, and macaroni and cheese and cranberry sauce."

She did not even finish her last sentence when Bella started to shake her head.

"No," she grumbled.

Looking hurt, Esme inquired in a pleading voice, "What do you mean 'no'? Why not?"

Bella crossed her arms and glared bitterly at the table. "Because I'm going to be the only one eating it. It wouldn't be fair to make all of that food and go to all of that trouble just for plain old me. I didn't want to have a Thanksgiving dinner this year, anyway. There's no point in it...especially when we can't eat one together. A normal dinner will be fine. So can we just forget about it? I don't mean to hurt your feelings by asking this, and I'm sorry if I did. Really, I am. But I just don't want to do it."

Poor Esme could only stare at her in misery and disappointment. I myself could not even think of anything to say.

"No point?" she demanded finally. "But Bella...I haven't had the chance to make a Thanksgiving meal for someone. Not in a very long time, at least."

"Why don't you make it for somebody who will need it, then? There are a lot of people that would need it more than I ever will," Bella remarked. She stood up. "I am going to my room. Excuse me."

The both of us followed her down the hall.

"Sweetheart, please let her cook something for you," I begged, turning her around so that she faced me. "She has really been looking forward to doing it."

"No!"

"Please, Bella? I want to do something special for you. Besides, what about the party? You can at least join us with that," Esme implored.

She roared in exasperation. "No! I said NO! Don't you get it? I won't feel like celebrating at all on Thanksgiving. If I joined the party, I would just make everyone feel depressed. I don't want to do that to you. Just have the party without me," she stated, her voice trembling.

Esme laid her hands on her upper arms. "Honey, this party is for the whole family. We will want you to be with us. So could you please partake in it? Maybe you will have fun."

Bella started to cry. "NO! You don't understand. You just don't understand. Just leave me alone, please. I don't want to discuss this anymore," she wept.

Then she wrenched herself out of her grip, bolted into her room, and slammed the door.

**Bella's POV**

I locked the door before diving onto the bed. After that, I screamed and cried into my pillow.

They did not understand. They did not get it.

Why did Esme keep insisting that I let her cook a Thanksgiving dinner for me? For me to join in the party? Wasn't it obvious that I had no desire to? Couldn't they just take no for an answer for once? Why couldn't they just let me be?

I heard the doorknob jiggle. "Bella? Bella, open the door. I want to talk to you," Carlisle half-shouted as he knocked on the door.

"But I don't feel like talking! Go away!" I yelled back amidst sobs.

"Don't approach the situation like this, my dear. Open the door." There was pain in his voice, causing my heart to ache. I hated it when he sounded like that.

"NO! GO _AWAY_! I'M NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT!"

He sighed. "All right. We don't have to. But let me in. Please?"

Reluctantly, I walked over to the door and unlocked it. Carlisle opened it.

When he saw my face, his shoulders drooped. "Oh, Bella," he groaned. He scooped me up before sitting in the armchair. Then he rocked it back and forth while stroking my hair.

"Shhhhh. Don't cry," he murmured gently. "Tell me what is the matter, kitten. Why are you upset?"

I hiccuped. "Because...neither of you seem to understand how I feel. I don't want to celebrate Thanksgiving, not with a dinner or a party. I can't."

He kissed my temple. "Why?"

Burying my face in his chest, I sobbed, "It isn't going to be the same...not without M-Mom and Charlie and Phil. We would all celebrate Thanksgiving together. Charlie would fly all the way to California or New York to have dinner with us. And my grandma Marie would join us too, when she was living.

"If I were to have a dinner and join in the party, it would remind me of that, and it would make me so sad because none of them are here anymore. I would never be able to go through with a celebration. I'll be the only one who is eating. I know that I'll feel like an outcast, and that would make me feel lonely. When I had dinner with my family, everyone ate together."

Carlisle was quiet. He was clearly thinking all of this over. "I understand what you mean," he whispered after several moments.

When I gazed at him, I could see that he did. I embraced him tightly.

He returned the hug. "Well...if feeling lonely is what bothers you, then perhaps I can fix that particular problem for you."

I sniffled. "How?" I croaked.

There was a glint in his eyes as he smiled. "I could always have dinner with you. That way, you won't be the only one who is eating," he remarked.

"But Carlisle," I protested. "You don't like human food. You said that it upsets your stomach, and that you would just throw it up."

He shrugged. "I know, but I do not care. The only thing that I care about is that you are happy."

"I don't want you to go through all of that. I don't want you to feel as if you are obligated to make yourself uncomfortable for _me_."

With a chuckle, he gave me another kiss. "_La mia Bella_, I would rather make myself uncomfortable to make sure that you are enjoying yourself, rather than to stand there and watch you suffer."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Don't you think that I would suffer to see you hurting?" I asked skeptically. I climbed off of his lap. "Look, I appreciate your attempts to make me feel better. I really do. But I am not going to let you do that to yourself. I know that you don't care about it, but _I_ do. So please...just don't do it. I would feel better knowing that you are having fun, at least, and not running to the bathroom to vomit all night." I turned to walk away.

He grabbed my hand and placed me on his lap. "Bella," he mumbled, taking my face in his palm. "I _am_ going to eat dinner with you. You cannot stop me...I am faster than you. If you try to take the food away from me, you will be chasing me for the rest of the evening. I will _not_ let you sit there feeling depressed. And I am _not_ going to allow you to feel as if you are alone. I will eat with you, and if any of the others chooses to join us, then so be it. You _are_ going to have at least one person in your family to do have dinner with you...because I am your family as much as your parents and stepfather and grandmother are. Do you hear me?"

I was so touched by his statement that I did not know what to do. I was unable to believe that Carlisle would risk indigestion to make me happy. It was not that I didn't know this, but he really did care about me if he would do that for me. I loved him for being so selfless...!

Before I knew what was going on, I sprang forward to hug him, and my lips ended up on his. As soon as they did, static charged through them.

Oh God, he tasted so good! Just like peppermints!

I couldn't move! I didn't want to...!

_Hold on! What the hell am I doing?!_ I thought in alarm.

My eyes widened as I realized what was happening, and so did Carlisle's. I backed away with a gasp and covered my mouth. He could only stare at me, looking thunderstruck.

Oh. My. God. What did I do? What did I _do_?

I was going to be in _huge_ trouble!

When I recovered from my astonishment, I ran for the door. However, Carlisle caught me before I could reach it.

"B-Bella...did...did you just kiss me?" he breathed in a dazed voice.

I faced him, then bowed my head in shame. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I don't know what made me do it. I'm sorry," I repeated.

He must have saw that I was being truthful because he nodded slowly. "It is all right. But you cannot do that again...not for a while."

I inclined my head. "I know. Am I in trouble?"

"No...you did not kiss me on purpose, after all."

Edward and Esme came in the room just as he had finished speaking. They did not look too enthusiastic.

Carlisle held up his hand as if he knew what they were about to say. "You do not have to worry about this, children. It was an accident," he remarked.

"Still, it was wrong for her to do that," Edward pointed out. "Why didn't you resist her?"

"I was caught off guard. I would have done so if I hadn't been as surprised as I was."

Edward pursed his lips. "Yes...that is very true. But can you please step out of the room for a minute? Esme and I need to have a talk with Bella."

He nodded. "Certainly. Do not be too hard on her."

"We won't."

Carlisle shot me a tiny grin before leaving. Once the door was closed, Esme focused her attention on me.

"Why don't you have a seat, baby girl?" she queried. Apparently, she was not too upset with me...she called me my pet name after all.

I sat down on the armchair again. She and Edward perched on the bed.

Esme leaned forward and took my hands. "Bella, I am not going to tell you that what you did was wrong. We already know that you know that it was. However, you have to make sure that it does not happen again for a few years. We know that you have a crush on Carlisle, but for now, you have to keep yourself in control around him."

"Mom, I know. It wasn't as if I meant to kiss him."

"I understand that, sweetheart, and I know that you did not. Still, if you feel like you have the urge to do so again...just try to prevent yourself from doing it. All right?"

Nodding, I mumbled, "Yes, Mom. I'll try very hard to if I do."

She beamed and kissed me on the cheek. "Wonderful."

**Carlisle's POV**

As I listened to Esme speaking to Bella, I tried to pull myself together.

I was still unable to believe that she had actually _kissed_ me, and on the _lips_ at that! What shocked me even more was the fact that I did not stop her or push her away. That I let her continue to kiss me until she realized what she was doing.

With a groan, I pinched the bridge of my nose. If anything, this was really my fault. This could have been prevented if I had not been in shock.

But how could I not have been? When Bella was kissing me, the fact that she was doing that alone had stunned me. However, it was the electric surging through our lips that really made me freeze. If it had not, I would have been able to stop her.

I did not see how our brother-sister relationship could be the same, now that this has happened. I was certain that Bella would feel awkward around me from here on out. She may even still feel guilty and ashamed for kissing me.

Of course, I would reassure her that I did not hold it against her. That I was not upset with her. It _was _an honest mistake. She was my true other half, after all. It was not unusual that she felt the way she did for me, sisterly on one day and otherwise on the next. This was inevitable. I could not and did not blame her for it, and neither should she.

This being said, I did not want there to be a rift between Bella and I. I did not want her to start avoiding me again because she thought that I was angry with her. It would be as stressful as it had been when Esme had first grounded her.

Perhaps I was getting ahead of myself, though. Maybe Bella would not do this at all. But just in case, I was going to let her know how I felt from the get go. If she had any doubts at the moment, they would be erased after I spoke to her.

At least, I prayed that they would.

**Bella's POV**

I was glad that Edward and Esme were letting me off easy. I had no desire to be spanked, even though I had kind of expected to be.

Now I was just hoping that Carlisle had not become upset about me kissing him after recovering from his amazement. Maybe I should talk to him and ask him if everything was okay between us.

Edward cocked his head as if he were listening to something. "Carlisle wants to speak to you, so I'll give you two some privacy. But do not forget what your mother told you, sweet pea. Understand?"

Nodding, I mumbled, "Yes, Dad."

He and Esme gave me one more hug before leaving the room. Carlisle nodded to them as they passed him. After that, he came in and sat where they were just sitting.

I fidgeted, then blurted out, "Are you mad at me? If you are, please don't be. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen. Honest, I didn't..."

"Bella dear, calm down," he interrupted, holding up his hand. "I know that you did not, and I know that you are sorry. You don't have to apologize to me anymore. I am not mad at you at all, sweetheart. What happened was an accident...I do not hold it against you. I know how you feel about me at times, so I do not blame you for kissing me. But that does not mean that I approve of what you did. As I told you before, you cannot do that...not for a few years at best. It cannot be that way between us. All right?"

"Yes," I nodded. I sighed in relief, thanking God that he was not upset. "And I know that it can't be. It...My kissing you just happened unexpectedly. I did not plan to do it."

Carlisle scooped me up and kissed my forehead. "I know, and that is good."

We remained in each others arms for a while. Neither of us talked, just kept a thoughtful silence.

Some time later, I looked up at him. "Carlisle?" I said.

"Mmm, Bella?" he inquired.

I pursed my lips. "If... If you want to eat a Thanksgiving dinner with me, then I guess that I wouldn't mind having one. I just didn't want you to because it will make you uncomfortable. I still feel that way, but...well, if you want to, I won't be able to stop you, like you said. At least I won't be eating it myself, and I won't feel so lonely," I remarked.

He beamed at me. "I am pleased that you changed your mind. Esme will be also. She really wants to make the big meal for you. And while we are eating it, we'll have a lot of fun. We can talk and I can joke about how terrible her food is!"

Chortling, I slapped his arm playfully.

Carlisle gaped at me in delighted surprise.

"What?" I queried.

He shook his head, still grinning. This time, however, there were tears in his eyes. "It seems as if it has been a very long time since I had seen your lovely smile and heard your beautiful laughter. I missed both of them so...I did not know when I would see or hear either again," he choked out, half-sobbing.

I didn't even realized that I _had_ laughed until he pointed this out. I embraced him tightly. "Don't cry, Carlisle. I don't like it when you do. It makes my heart hurt," I whispered.

"I understand that, Bella, but I cannot help it. I am so happy to see that you are. You have no idea of what it does to me when you are depressed. You have no idea at all," he wept into my hair.

"No, but I can imagine. Shhhh, shhhh. It's okay. I'm fine now." I rubbed his back gently.

It took several minutes for him to composed himself. When he finally did, I squeezed his hand.

"Come on, Carlisle. Let's go tell Esme that she can make my Thanksgiving dinner. I...I just hope that I will be able to go through with it. It will be hard without Mom, Charlie, and Phil here, though," I sighed.

"Yes, it may be a little hard," Carlisle agreed, sliding an arm across my shoulder. "But no matter what, I will make sure that it won't be too difficult. You can count on that. I am here for you. You know that, do you not?"

I pecked his cheek. "Of course I do, and I am glad that you are. I don't know what I would do without you."

He took my hand and we left the room together.

(A/N: **PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!** Part 2 will be posted soon, hopefully. What did you think? Let me know! Oh, and if anyone is interested in checking out my book, _go to . Click on the "Bookstore" tab and type in "The Chronicles of Josie."_ It comes with a preview. I also lowered the price to $9.99, so you may buy it if you choose to. Thank you.)


	7. Author's Note!

I just wanted to remind everyone to pay their respects to those who have died on this infamous day twelve years ago. Also, pay respects to those who are still grieving the loss of their family and friends.

I am currently working on the next chapter. It is going slow, due to numerous writer's blocks, but I will update as soon as I am finished writing it.


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